So...
apparently the reunion thing is today.
and quite honestly i'm kinda scared.
Like...
-sigh- this is gonna be really awkward to say...
but like
in elementary...
like a LONG (emphasis on that word) time ago...
me and raymond used to like each other.
YEAH YEAH i know
you're probably going 'WTFF'
but like
we did.
we honestly did.
and like
i think
he was the first person that i actually really really liked (sorry kelvin)
and i really mean that.
Because...
i remember that when i was still in grade 6
i had this one nightmare
that i can't even forget now.
and like, in that nightmare, he died.
and i remember waking up crying.
Even when i dreamt that kelvin died i didn't cry. (well, in my dream i did but i didn't wake up crying)
Well, i honestly don't like him now...
but, i've always kinda thought of his as like a little brother (HAHA yea, our birthdays are 2 days apart. mine on the 22, his on the 24)
and yea...
so he's going to the reunion too
because Alvina is making him XD rofl
hahaa
like, cindy and leanne are going too
and like i talk to them occasionally so it's gonna be fine with them and stuff. and like i talk to alvina more than the others so that's all good.
But damn
it's gonna be awkard talking to raymond you know?
we haven't talked since the 7th grade. and like...
i don't know how things ended up the way they did.
Like... in 7th grade, we all just stopped talking to each other.
Like, jimmy and i didn't talk that much but we still talked occasionally.
but me and raymond just... stopped talking.
and at first it was really weird.
because, i was so used to having him around and stuff.
And it didn't help that in grade 8 i started to date kelvin.
-sigh-
also
bobby and tyler are going too i think...
i'm kinda nervous meeting them again...
because...
well, first of all
i talked to bobby on msn last night and like...
he's changed. so much.
he's not the cute happy-go-lucky boy anymore. Like, he isn't as open as he was before.
Before he could and would laugh with anyone.
now... it's like he's a completely different person.
He's much more...reserved. Like, when i was talking to him, it was very formal. like, his words has pretty much no emotion. he got right down to business and didn't say anything more than was required to get his msg across.
To me, a reunion is something that i welcome. like, i WANT to see everyone again. and i would think that the others have the same feelings. but bobby said that he wasn't going to go if he was the only guy.
Like wtf? dammit, don't you remember all the times we've spent together??
like... even though we're not a part of your life anymore, don't you want to go back to the happy, carefree childhood life for just one more day?
well... i guess that's why i'm nervous to see bobby... because i don't know HOW he's gonna be like.
and tyler?
eeerrr...
very awkward.
very VERY awkward.
Like...
gaahh.
in grade 5... i think?
yea grade 5, or sometime around then...
-sigh- i had a 'phase' where i liked him... and i had a feeling the he liked me too.
bah. but, that phase quickly passed and shit.
like, i honestly liked raymond from grade 4-6.
and also
like, tyler has changed too.
Bobby and tyler are best friends.
they have been best friends since as long as i've known them (KINDERGARTEN)
and like... they're still best friends now.
so since Bobby has changed, who's to say that Tyler hasn't?
But... they are very precious people to me...
because, they helped create all the happy memories that i have cherished since my childhood.
But like...
yeah...
i'm so nervous.
But, i'm gonna be so happy to see natalie :)
she was my best friend in elementary.
Like, we were inseparateable.
good times honestly... even now, when i have bf troubles, she's the first one i go to talk to because she gives the best damn advice out of everyone i know.
but at the same time, the only reason she can do that is because she has been through a lot of heartache.
So yeah, i'm very excited to see Natalie. i want to talk to her a lot. Catch up and stuff. And get some advice on Kelvin because even though my last blog stated that i will stick with him no matter what, he is still being an ass.
Also...
i want to see the others too.
but...
there's one girl i DEFINATELY don't want to see...
Elizabeth.
ugh.
like. just ugh.
she's pissed at me.
and i can understand why she's pissed at me.
but like honestly? get over it.
jeezus christ, just because she's mad that i took her place in the spotlight.
Like... maybe if you had been a BETTER FRIEND than they wouldn't have ditched you.
becuase quite honestly.
like... in grade 6... *sigh*
k, we had the chinese speech contest thingy...
and like...
in the class, everyone does their thing, and then we vote on the best 3 people to compete.
and so...
when we were voting...
elizabeth went around the class telling everyone not to vote for me because i've already been chosen like 3 times before that.
and so, one of my other best friends told me what she was doing...
and like i was so upset.
because i worked hard on it. and like, let the people choose who they want because the whole point of the voting is for the best in the class to represent everyone. and like, they can choose whoever the hell they want. don't influence their voting.
and so
like i was so upset and i told the teacher.
and then the teacher phoned her parents...
and that is how she became pissed at me.
but seriously, she brought this upon herself.
and i think she still carries that grudge to today...
Honestly, it doesn't help that her family is close to William's family either.
Like...
grade 6 (I KNOW THIS IS CONFUSING TO YOU, lots of things happened in grade 6)
me and william became best friends.
like... we honestly did. i think, i was his first real friend because he was kinda the 'class bully' and like he was making fun of me one day and like i totally went off on him and he felt really bad...
and when he apologized to me like i couldn't help but feel so bad for him.
and yeah, that's how we became friends...
(raymond got pissed that i spent more time with william than with him >.>)
and like... yeah. he's one of my close friends and yet her family is close with his -_-
but... we're not that close anymore... haven't seen him in so long. and honestly, he's one of those (i don't want to be mean but) 'brand-name whores'
everything he wears is brand name. >.>
but... he's still a really nice person deep down.
and i'll admit... that in the summer before i went to jr. high... i liked william.
because we exchanged emails all summer long. and like
he went to malaysia during that time
and like apparently something was going on then (it was on the news i don't remember anymore)
but like they stopped all flights in and out. so he couldn't come back when schedualed and so he would be late for school.
i remember him telling me all of this and like i was honestly so worried about him.
i was terrified that he was going to be stuck there and that i'd never ever see him again.
haha but the dummy insisted he'd be fine and he did end up coming back... although he was late for the beginning of school.
but... the thing that i remember the most...
is in one of his emails
he said
'i miss you'
and like...coming from him, it made me feel... like, it was one of those moments you know? its not a total 'awe' but it's not a total 'HAPPY' either.
its like a really calm happy. like the feeling you get when everything will be okay and stuff.
i think the fact that he said it before i said anything made it even better.
haha when i replied my email, i said 'i miss you too' and i think that kinda embarassed him because he never said it again. XD
but...
you know
after all these years
that dummy still manages to have a special spot in my heart.
LOL did you know the he and kelvin know each other? same TKD class. hahaha
but yeah...
and like, i just need to get this out of my system:
if things with kelvin don't work out, i honestly think that if he was willing, i'd rather go with william.
because... during the time that we were best friends...
i felt so happy.
he was the only other person who made me feel like i belong.
but... i still love my poi poi :) <3
hahahaha.
GAHHHHH THE REUNION IS IN 80 MINUTES.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~
panic mode T_________T
but...
ultimately,
i think i have mixed feelings about this reunion.
Hopefully it'll go well.
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