A Message in a bottle.

Chris, if you're reading this...
i need to cry on monday :(
will you be there for me?

CrazyG Photography.

Misses seeing the daily pics from CrazyG photography :(

Post soon!

There's a First For Everything.

For once...

I'm actually doing my math hmwk.






Lock your doors, barricade your windows and start rationing food,
because the damn apocalypse is about to arrive.

Sent.

I sent in my story for the CBC scholarship... the one that's worth 6K.

Against my better judgement, i didn't take all of Colp's advice.
I left in the part about Gabriel.
Because i didn't want to leave it out, and when i read it without that part, it didn't have the same impact.

I hope i get this scholarship.

-sigh-

stress of grade 12... fuck.

Nervous.

I'm so scared for tmrw... omg. >_____< please dear god, let me do DECENT.

For You.

s.Lam

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-G8IfjPAII&feature=related

CRAZYG - photography: Just relax.

CRAZYG - photography: Just relax.

Sing.

"Spend all your time waiting,
for that second chance;
For a break that will make it okay.
There's always some reason
to feel not good enough,
and it's hard at the end of the day.
I need some distraction,
a beautiful release.
Memories seep from my veins.
Let me feel empty
and weightless and maybe
i'll find some peace tonight."


Guess what song i'm singing for Lazerte idol auditions ;)

DAMN IT ALL.

ARGGHH.
I HATE GRADE 12!


wait.
let me correct that.

I HATE THE STRESS THAT COMES WITH GRADE 12!!

damn scholarships.
damn university.
DAMN EVERYTHING.
RAWWR!

especially...
DAMN THE ESSAYS! (that go with the scholarships)

s.Lam

Go see a doctor.

Food!

I had lots of fun cooking and baking today! i hope everyone likes my homemade lunch tmrw... :)

Just Gotta Say.

Seeing Crazy G. Photography post a photo with that panda rock i made... made my day and totally made me smile :)

Here's the link s.Lam

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-t8IA4hDeA&feature=related

Prayers Answered!

I got an interview! i hope i get the job :)
or at least get another phone call.

Please vote!

Please vote for my friend!

https://www.stuckonme.ca/gallery/5D674/vote

Hope.

I really really hope i get a job interview this time :(

GRADE 12 TIMETABLE :)

Semester one

Day one

Morning: Chem 30 IB, Callegari, Rm 273
1. Chem 35 IB, Callegari, Rm 273
2. Math 31, Wisheu, Rm 253
LUNCH
3. English 30IB, Colp, Rm 215
4. Biology 30, Hewko, Rm 270

Day Two

Morning: Chem 30 IB, Callegari, Rm 273
1. Physics 30 IB, Malayko, Rm 265
2. Math 31, Wisheu, Rm 253
LUNCH
3. OMFG, WTF I HAVE A SPARE.
4. Biology 30, Hewko, Rm 270


Semester 2

Day One

Morning: Chem 30 IB
1. Physics 35 IB, Malayko, Rm 265
2. Social 30, Speir, Rm 227
LUNCH
3. English 30 IB, Colp
4. Band 30, Whaley, Rm 151

Day Two
Morning: Chem 30 IB
1. Physics 30 IB, Malayko
2. Social 30
LUNCH
3. SPARE AGAIN.
4. Band 30

I was One-Up-ed by Myself. WTH?

so yeah... last night i had a dream
where i was playing a street fighter version of Chrono Crusade.
I picked rosette because she had the highest agility and she had a good range of attacks.
My opponent (don't remember who) picked Chrono because of his high defense and attack.
it was all going well
and then i decided 'LETS USE MY SPECIAL MOVE!'
and so i pressed a button
and unsealed the pocket watch thinking that a chrono avatar would swoop into the screen and assist me...
but then
instead of someone helping me
my opponent transformed into his full demon form (so in other words HE POWERED UP)
needless to say
i had a 'WTF' moment
because i never really thought of that situation
yet my mind was already one step ahead of me
my mind totally just pwned me.
WTH.
Oh yeah, i lost the game because full demon Chrono is well... fucking kick ass!

Day 14 - someone you’ve drifted away from

Dear person,

come back into my life.

I miss you like you wouldn't believe. It kills me everyday knowing what we could've had had we not been separated.

Missing you,
Patricia Wong

Day 13 - someone you wish could forgive you


Dear person i want to forgive me,

Tell me what i did and i'll ask for forgiveness.
Thanks!

From,
Patricia Wong

Day 12 - the person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain



Dear Son of a Bitch,

yeah well, you're a son of a bitch. By the way, i find it EXTREMELY amusing how you're so 'depressed' and 'trying to move on' right now. Especially since you didn't give a damn about others when they were in the same situation. I'm glad that i'm not in your life anymore. I hope you die alone. I also hope you have no friends for the rest of your life. Disappear, God knows that you deserve to.

I hate you,
Patricia Wong

Day 11 - a deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 11 - a deceased person you wish you could talk to


Dear great grand aunt,

I'm so sorry that you had to die. I wish i was a bigger part of your life and you'll never know how grateful i was for you taking care of me when the rest of the family was playing mah jong. I wish i could've talked to you more, but considering we had a language barrier between us (you spoke Vietnamese and i only knew English and Cantonese), it was hard to communicate. But even so, i always knew what you were asking and i could tell that even though i didn't talk to you very much, you still loved me like family and that i had a special place in your heart. I admire you for being such a faithful wife to great grand uncle. I'm sorry that i didn't think more of you on the day of your funeral. I was young and naive back then and now that i truly understand what it means for someone to be really 'gone', i regret not paying better respects to you.

My prayers go out to you great grand auntie. Rest in peace.

Forever,
Patricia Wong

Day 10 - someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to

Day 10 - someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to


Dear realistic me,

i realize it's been a while since i've actually had a significant, LOOONG conversation with you. I'm sorry for ditching you for dreamer me. Even though i don't talk to you as much anymore, does not mean that i don't know you're there and the significance of you. I would appreciate it if you would stop trying to stomp on the dreamer me by always bringing me back to reality when i start daydreaming for too long. I know i used to talk to you everyday, but i really don't feel like i belong in this world anymore. I like my fantasy world better, and i know you do as well considering how completely and utterly cynical and pessimistic you are.

Please let me indulge in my childish whims just a little longer. I promise that i'll always come back no matter what, after all, i can't escape reality for too long can i?

Yourself,
Patricia Wong






YES I TALK TO MYSELF. got a problem? shove it.

Day 09 - someone you wish you could meet

Day 09 - someone you wish you could meet

Dear Greg Proops,

Hello! this might be weird just randomly writing a letter out of the blue, but what the heck eh?

anyways, i'm a big fan of 'whose line is it anyways?' and i think the work you did on the show is absolutely brilliant. I sincerely hope that you, ryan, chip and jeff come to alberta to do a 'Whose live anyways?' performance! that would really really really make me happy! if you could somehow drag Mr. Mochrie along, that'd be even better :)

Perhaps instead of doing a show in calgary like last time, you could do one in edmonton? unfortunately i was not able to attend your previous show (much to my overwhelming regret) but i really do hope to see the whose line cast live someday!

I think perhaps i will stop this letter here now, before i start babbling random things that would only waste your time. God knows you'll never read this anyhow.

Sincerely,
Patricia Wong

Day 08 - your favourite internet friend

Day 08 - your favourite internet friend

Dear person who does not exist,

yeah well, you don't exist.

Good day,
Patricia Wong.

Day 07 - your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 07 - your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush


Dear Bastard,

I'm so glad that you are out of my life. Thank you for making me hate you. I hope you burn in hell for everything that you've done. I also hope that you get hit by a car sometime in the near future. I don't care that you're going through a hard part of your life right now because you clearly didn't care when i was. I laugh at your pitiful attempt to be friends. After all, wasn't it you who said that rebuilding a friendship between us wasn't 'worth your time'? It makes me hysterical that you want to be friends after all this time. What are you fucking insane? i really do think you should be admitted into a mental hospital. You keep saying that you're 'sorry' but you make no move to validate that bold apology. You can't even gather up the courage to talk to me face to face. Once a coward, always a coward.

I'm not going to waste anymore time on you.

Go fuck yourself. <-- remember those words? the last 3 words that i spoke to you.

Sincerely,
Patricia Wong

Day 06 - a stranger

Day 06 - a stranger


Dear stranger,

i don't know why i'm writing you this letter. My parents taught me never to talk to strangers and as my friend s.Woo would put it, 'stranger = danger!'
i guess that's all i have to say to you, otherwise i'd really start to worry.

Sincerely,
Patricia Wong.

Blank Slate.

*sigh* so after being completely restored to 'point blank' state, my baby is now running okay again T___T it's going to take me a LOONG time to get back to where i used to...

It's Official.

Yep. It's official. Patricia Computer #3 has just died... ARRRGGHHHH!!! !@#$%^& hells. T________T

Thanks to g.Polok and j.Nesbitt for trying to help me though... you gave me hope, even if only for half an hour ;___;

My Poor Baby is Broken :'(

yep, that's right. You saw it on fb, you saw it on msn. MY POOR BABY IS BROKEN! WAAAHH! apparently my web explorer messed up my computer and the only way to fix it is to completely restore it. Which means i'll lose all my files and crap... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO T________T
So just a heads up... might not be online as often as i would like... my brother is only being nice and letting me use his comp while he's away... which seems to be less often nowadays i don't know why. But yeah... *sigh*

i think i'll go sulk in a corner and bake cookies... TT^TT

Day 05 - your dreams

Day 05 - your dreams

Dear Dreams,

i love you. Please don't ever leave me. you are funny, random, exhilerating, thrilling, and everything else that is good. I can't wait to fall asleep every night because i can't wait to go back to my dream world. I'm sorry i control you so often, i only want to have fun. Thank you for being nice most of the time and for not giving me nightmares. When you do give me nightmares, i'm sorry that i always cut you off halfway, but i don't like those dreams so i have to stop it. I wish i remembered every single detail about all my dreams, but i'm more than happy with what i remember now. Thank you for being so fun and exciting all the time, but i really do wish you would let me EAT the food before i wake up.

Please stop bringing my real life worries into my dream world. i like to leave them behind. Even though you give my worries a funny twist, it still makes me a bit unnerved. By the way, i'm sorry that i'm straining my imagination. From the amount of weird dreams i've had so far, i guess it must be pretty hard to keep thinking of new situations to top the last dream.

See you tonight!

Your host,
Patricia Wong

Day 04 - your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 04 - your sibling (or closest relative)

Dear Patrick,

Thank you for finally stop being an ass.
As surprised as you may be to know this, you are actually the one family member that i don't hate more than 50%.
Thank you for being a big brother to me and looking out for me. Just so you know, the whole 'i'm a tough big brother and i bully my sister' facade doesn't work against me. Thank you for caring even though you try to hide it.
Please stop poking me on occasion randomly demanding that i 'acknowledge' you.

As weird and horrible this sounds to both of us, i hope that when we grow up, we will still see each other often.

That's all i'm going to say before both you AND me tape my hands together and mouth shut.

Your sister,
絲惠

Day 03 - your parents

Day 03 - your parents


Dear Mom and Dad,

I'm sorry i'm such a terrible daughter. I'm sorry that i always talk back at you and never listen to you, but i need you to understand that i'm not as stupid as you think i am. I am capable of making my own choices as well as understanding the consequences that come with those choices. I want you to stop dictating my life. I know that compared to your childhood, i'm pretty much living in heaven, but different situations call for different actions. Because you grew up during the war and had to escape from the country, you had to work harder than many people in their entire lifetimes, but just because you've done that, doesn't mean that i'm completely incapable of taking care of myself because i didn't do the same stuff as you during your childhood. I know that you're only trying to do what's best for me and that's why i shut my mouth 75% of the time (i know it doesn't seem like it, but i actually do shut up and put up).

I wish you guys would stop arguing. Do you know what it does to a child when they have to listen to their parents screaming and shouting at each other? When i was little i had no idea what was going on and i always blamed myself. Maybe if i wasn't born, then everyone would be happier. That's what i always told myself as a child because even the tiniest thing involving me would spark a giant shouting contest. Did you know, during the first 13 years of my life before mom got cancer and had her surgery, i hated going home? because you two never talked. For the first fucking 13 years of my life, my parents never spoke to one another except to yell and scream and threaten each other. I used up 13 birthday wishes because of that. Every year i would wish for the same thing: 'let us become a family. let mom and dad talk to each other without fighting. let us become a family'. It took 13 years for my wish to come true. Even now you still argue at times but not as much.

Mom, i'm sorry that i didn't visit you when you were in the hospital (minus that one time i came). I don't know why i didn't want to go, maybe a part of me really didn't want to see you lying on a hospital bed because it scared me to think that the person who always cared for me my entire life might suddenly break and leave me alone. Or maybe because it just didn't seem real to me that you were in the hospital fighting cancer and that i just hadn't realized the weight of the situation. Whatever the reason is, i'm really sorry. I know i've said that you and dad were horrible parents, but i'm an equally horrible daughter.

Dad, i don't want you to move to the UK for work. Even if it IS after i finish university. I know i'm being selfish, but i don't want you to move away. I know you made me a promise when i was 7 that you would hold on as long as you could and once we grew up, you would be able to let go without worrying about us, but things are better now. You and mom aren't fighting as much and we actually spend time as a family now. Please don't move away. Out of the two of you, you actually treat me like an adult and i really appreciate that. You understand me better than mom and you always care for me even when i'm being a bitch (for lack of a better word). I'm sorry i always treat you like crap. It's just you seem to have the worst timing in the world and you always catch me when i'm in a really pissed off mood. I'm not actually mad at you, it's just that i have serious anger issues. Thank you for caring so much about my education and i'm sorry i keep shopping and spending your money. I'm working on stopping that.

That's all i have to say really. I'm sorry that i don't have the courage to say any of this in real life. I know that you'll never read this but if you somehow do, i'm sorry i didn't tell you sooner.

Thanks mom and dad.

Love,
Patricia Wong

Damn You Canadian Weather.

It just finished hailing. Crazy flash showers made the streets flood (well, at least the streets that i drove by). Damn you canadian weather.

Day 02 - your crush

Day 02 - your crush AKA Mr. Right


Dr. Mr. Right,
I have not met you yet but here i am writing you a letter simply because this quiz/chain thing/whatever the hell is it told me to. I hope that when i meet you i will leave a good impression. I also hope that you will like my weird quirks and mood swings. I hope you find me as adorable as other people do. I also hope that you will love me back and remain loyal as long as we are together. Follow the word 'loyalty' to the letter boy, or it's so long for you. I hope that when we meet, it will be a good meeting that i will remember for years to come :)
Thank you whoever you are for coming into my life in the future!
Patricia Wong

Letters. Day one: Chris.

Day 01 - your best friend
Day 02 - your crush
Day 03 - your parents
Day 04 - your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 05 - your dreams
Day 06 - a stranger
Day 07 - your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 08 - your favourite internet friend
Day 09 - someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 - someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 - a deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 - the person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 - someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 - someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 - the person you miss the most
Day 16 - someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 - someone from your childhood
Day 18 - the person that you wish you could be
Day 19 - someone that pesters your mind, good or bad
Day 20 - the one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 - someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 - someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 - the last person you kissed
Day 24 - the person that gave you your favourite memory
Day 25 - the person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 - the last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 - the friendliest person you only knew for one day
Day 28 - someone that changed your mind
Day 29 - the person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 - your reflection in the mirror


Okay~ lets do this~~

DAY ONE : Day 01 - your best friend

Dear Chris,
Thank you so much. You have no idea how much i appreciate you and how much support and strength you have given me. You were the first one there when i was broken and you stayed there till the bitter end. You gave me a shoulder to cry on and i'm pretty sure i ruined at least one of your shirts by bawling my eyes out. I still don't know how you can understand my stuttered jibberish that i blab out when i'm crying. You've always been there for me. You were there when i needed someone, and you were there standing at the sidelines even when i didn't even realize you were there. I'm so sorry that we didn't become friends faster, and if i could turn back time, i would make sure that i would be the first person to talk to you when you first moved here. The support you give me is pretty much what holds me together, and if i didn't have you around i think i would probably still be wallowing in self pity and self loathing. it's people like you that make me realize that i can't just give up on life halfway because that would be taking the easy way out. All teenagers go through depression and think about suicide at least once in their lives. Ever since we became friends i've never had a single suicidal thought ever. That's because i realize that suicide only hurts those who care about us, and i'd rather die than hurt the person who has done so much for me and asked for so little in return. I love how we can talk about anything and laugh together at the dumbest things. I also like our very retarded conversations, especially when we add Linda into the mix HAHA. Surprisingly, i feel more comfortable around you than around anyone else. I know i've said this to you before, but i'll say it again: i'm so glad you're more in touch with your feminine side than the rest of the population of male species. You're actually a man while they've yet to reach evolution.
I like how you can make me laugh until my stomach hurts and i start to tear up, and i like how i can do the same to you :) I also like how even though we constantly play mind games with each other, we always go along with it and end up creating unforgettable memories (good or bad or just plain stupid).
I think i can say for certain that you are the one person in my life that i'd rather die than have you taken away from me. We'll be best friends for the rest of our lives. I know it. I'll make it so and i know you will too :)
So here's to us and the many years to come!
Cheers Best Friend,
Patricia Wong

Reflection (from Mulan) Haynes thinwall 1933 flute sounds great

haha, so here i am watching his fingers attempting to figure out the music itself. I see a F# in there somewhere and i'm like okay... so it's a sharp key! then i see Ab a couple of times and i'm thinking okay, that must be G# if i'm in a sharp key signature right? then i see F natural and i do a doubletake. Maybe it's not in a sharp key and that the F# was just a rare note in there? ARGH. Whatever, i'll just learn to play it by ear.

Where I Dream Nonsensical Things.

Oh my.

I woke up just about 20 minutes ago with a bleeding nose and lingering fragments of my really weird dream. Since i don't feel like delving into just how bloody my bleeding noses can be, i'll skip over that and go straight to the dream.

I haven't had a dream like this in a long time. Usually (for those of you who know) i dream about really... random things like a flying carpet or a floating giant hamburger (yep, remember me telling you guys that one? L.O.L) and even my old chinese teacher trying to kill me for failing a written vocabulary test? yeah, this was nothing like that.

Of course it did have it's weird moments like the whole 'i own a giant red war horn' thing, but i'm not going to talk about that much. In my dream, i was in this really weird place and i distinctly remember thinking that whoever designed the building was an idiot because of all the trouble you had to go through to get to a certain spot. Pretty much if you walked in the entrance, you were greeted by 4 escalators, all 4 going down. then after you finished those escalators, you could either wander around on that floor which had basically classrooms or you could go down another floor with anoter set of escalators. This repeated for like 4 floors and considering in my dream i mostly had to run to the library and back outside constantly (the library was on the very last floor) i was a bit ticked. Since this place had a library and classrooms and people walking around with backpacks and stuff, it was pretty clear that this was a school, but i just had no idea WHICH school it was since i did not recognize any of the place at all, i just happened to know my way around (such is the way of dreams). Skipping the whole 'study class period in library' scene, the dream takes me outside where i suddenly start feeling extremely upset and worried about something/someone. This is when i sprint back to the library attempting to save whatever or whoever it is that i'm worried about. On the way down i see my friend Colyn and that's when i realize that the place was a dream version of my school (yes, i actually have a conscious mind when dreaming. Like, i can think to myself 'this is a messed up dream... but lets go along anyways') By the time i get to the library and i'm looking around, i find nothing but old ladies sewing (THAT was the weirdest part of my dream) and i realize i forgot my red horn by the desk that i was studying at. Feeling disappointed and still worried, i return back with my horn in tow and return up the 4 flights of escalators. When i return outside, in the crowd, i see these 3 boys. Two of them are throwing snowballs at the third one but you can tell that they're not trying to hurt him, instead, they are trying to aim so that the snowball just barely nicks the boy.

Apparently the third boy is the person that i've been worrying about because the next thing you know i'm running towards him nearly in tears. I stop directly in front of him and hold up a really beat up and torn touque that is his (how i got it, i don't know). After a moment of nothing, it turns into a sob fest. Well, mostly on my part anyways. I'm holding onto him for dear life and demanding to know why he did whatever the hell it was he did and whether he was stupid enough to want to receive a beating from me for making me worry so much. It was sometime during this scene that it registers in my mind that the three boys are actually triplets. Meanwhile, the third boy is desperately trying to console me but is holding onto me just as tightly. At one point he says 'i saved myself' out of the blue which really doesn't make sense because there was no backstory, but to the dream me, it made sense. Apparently the dream me knew that he had gotten kidnapped or something, well not kidnapped, maybe mobbed by a bunch of older bullies? idk, all i know is that he disappeared and was getting beat up in some way.

And that's where my dream ends. With me sobbing my heart out to this random guy that i don't know but supposedly do. Most of my dreams end abruptly like that, or at least as soon as the problem is solved.

I'm not going to say i hated my dream, because i didn't. But i'm not going to say i loved it either because half of it consists of me bawling my eyes out. The only thing i can say is that the boy seemed awfully familiar. I can't remember his face or anything, but i can remember how relieved and happy i was to be hugging him again.

Hm.

Weird.

About a Time Gone By.

I was watching random video's on youtube because, you know, that's what you do when you're bored. During my video marathon, i suddenly felt the urge to blog this:

As a personal opinion, i think the singer that is absolutely amazing live as well as in all her recordings is and will forever be Celine Dion.
Her voice is real unlike most of the people nowadays. I wish that we could bring back true talent instead of having to use autotuners when artists are recording.

The Mind is Strong, But the Body Weak.

I haven't updated in a long time... and i totally admit that it's my fault. My apologies. However i think i will be updating quite frequently from now on. I've just had so many random thoughts lately and there's no way to sort it out other than to blog them all.

First of all, i'd like to say that i've finally gotten around to pushing myself to work out every day! i'm actually really proud. You've no idea. Considering how lazy i am, it's considered something close to a miracle for me to get up everyday and make myself pull my bike out of the garden shed and bike to Grand Trunk to work out in the gym. Thankfully though, my friend Sandra has been amazing enough to agree to work out with me every single day to lessen my torture. In case i forget to say this the next time i see you: I LOVE YOU SANDRA! Thank you for spending money to buy a pass just to come exercise with me. It means a lot :)

I lose track of time quite easily i've noticed. For example, today when i went to work out, i actually stayed there for close to 4 hours. Yeah. What the hell was i doing? how am i supposed to know? When i got there, Sandra was there (which was a surprise because i thought she would've left since she had something to do later and needed time to go home and stuff) and we did some weights and what not. After she left (which was pretty much half an hour later) i started doing my own thing. Cardio... weights... lunges...stretches...cardio again...more weights... more weights... and next thing you know it's almost 6 o clock.
Yeah, i actually lift a lot of weights. Considering half the machinery in there is for weight lifting it's not like i have a choice, not to mention for a girl, i have stronger arms than most (i don't know if that's a good or bad thing) and weights are easy for me (most people prefer not to do weights because it's too hard. i mean, what kind of reason is that?)
I'm going back tomorrow (obviously.) and hopefully my abs will have recovered from our last workout so i can do some more core exercises. I'd forgotten how painful it is to work out the core muscles. The past 2 days i couldn't sneeze without cringing in pain; nor could i sit up in bed or cough or laugh without feeling soreness.

I'm still trying to find another job. God knows i need the money. I wish there was some miracle pill that cures the urges to shop. However when i DO shop, i'm always very picky. I'll go through every single rack and all the clothing on it and pick out the ones i like, then i'll try them on and toss out the bad ones, and FINALLY, the last step - look at the price tag. is it worth it? most of them aren't. Even though i succumb to my shopping urges a lot, i CAN tell a need from a want...
I actually plan to go shopping sometime soon. I heard from Ashley that there's a giant sale on flip-flops at Army & Navy and that she bought 10 pairs of flip flops. Amazing, how many shoes does a girl need anyways? I'm not one to talk though, considering i have millions of shoes. I think i own the most shoes out of my entire family, INCLUDING all my cousins and aunts and uncles and whatnot. Oh well, time to add flip-flops to the collection! After all, most of my shoes are heels and i don't have any flip flops whatsoever. It's nice to have a variety.

I think i will end this blog there, my mom has just announced that dinner is served~ i wonder what's cooking? Probably something delicious as always :) Moms food is always the best!

Excerpt.

They'd made good time today, mostly because he had spurred himself on like he'd never had before so as to stay ahead of Tenten and Lee - 'cause if he had to be alongside her or behind her, Byakugan be damned, he would have hit every tree in the forest for failing to see anything but her.

Stolen From Shevon (I Actually Have A Blog Update If You Scroll Down Further XD)

1.Short Hair? [ ]
2.Long Hair? [x]
3.No Hair? []
4.Freckles []
5.Blue eyes []
6.Green Eyes []
7.Brown Eyes [x]
8.Hazel Eyes []
9.Other Color Eyes []
10.Brunette []
11.Blonde []
12.Black Hair [x]
13.Other Color? []
14.Tall []
15.Short [x]
16.Wear your hair up ? [x]
17.Wear your down ? [x]
18.Up and down? [x]
~
Clothes~ (What you wear *Acc. Makeup Etc.*)
19.Jeans [x]
20.Sweater [x]
21.High tops [x]
22.Sneaker [x]
23.High Heels [x]
24.Flip flops [x]
25.No shoes? [ ]
26.Headband []
27.Hair clip [x]
28.Earrings []
29.Necklace []
30.Choker []
31.Other Piercings []
32.Bracelet [x]
33.Purse []
34.Bag [x]
35.Glasses [x]
~
Colors~ (Mark Favs)
36.Black [] <-- isn't a color btw XD
37.Blue [x]
38.Green [x]
39.Yellow []
40.Orange []
41.Purple [x]
42.Pink []
43.White [x]<--- neither is this :P
44.Grey []
45.Gold [x]
46.Silver [x]
47.Rainbow [x]
48.Other? []
~
Fav Stuff ~
49.Animals []
50.Drawing []
51.Reading [x]
52.Sleeping [x]
53.Eating [x]
54.Playing [x]
55.Playing sports []
56.Playing on Facebook [x]
57.Hanging with friends [x]
58.Listening to music [x]
59.Making notes []
60.Stalking People on Facebook []
61.Other? [x]
~

Friends ~
62.Have a best friend ? [x]
63.Enemy []
64.Lost a friend [x]
65.Made a new friend [x]
66.Found lost friends []
67.Met a friend over the internet [x]
68.Been backstabbed? []
69.Imaginary friend []
70.Share a brain with a friend []
~

Family~
71.Mom [x]
72.Dad [x]
73.Step Dad []
74.Step Mom []
75.Step Sister []
76.Step brother []
77.Aunt [x]
78.Uncle [x]
79.Cousins [x]
80.Nephew []
81.Niece [x]
82.Grandfather [x]
83.Grandmother [x]
84.Brother [x]
85.Sister []
86.No Family []
~

Pets ~
87.Cat []
88.Dog []
89.Fish []
90.Reptile []
91.Rodent []
92.Insect []
93.Bird []
94.Exotic pet []
95.No pet [x]
96.Had a pet die []
97.Get a new pet []
98.Give away a pet []
99.Lose a pet []
~
Mark of the letter in you whole name ~
*these don’t count as how many X’s you anwsered.*
A [x]
B []
C [x]
D []
E []
F []
G []
H []
I [x]
J []
K []
L []
M []
N []
O []
P [x]
Q []
R [x]
S []
T [x]
U []
V []
W []
X []
Y []
Z []
~
Random ~
Age :
100.6-10 []
101.11-15 []
102.16 – 20 [x]
103.Other []
104.Haves :
105.Computer [x]
106.Pets []
107.Ipod [x]
108.Cellphone [x]
109.Camera [x]
110.Nintendo Ds []
111.Nintedndo Wii [x]
112.Playstation [x]
113.Playstation 2 [x]
114.Playstation 3 []
115.Xbox []
116.Xbox 360 []
117.Gamecube [x]
118.Gameboy [x]
119.Gameboy Advanced [x]
120.Old schooled Nintendo []
121.Other ? [x]
Skills (Pick what your good at) :
122.Drawing []
123.Poetry []
124.Writing [x]
125.Cooking [x]
126.Math [x]
127.Science []
128.Sports []
129.Sewing []
130.Animation []
131.Singing []
132.Dancing []
133.Other? [x]
~

Music ~ *Pick which artist’s you’ve heard of *
134.A.F.I []
135.The Offspring [x]
136.Evanescence [x]
137.Shakira [x]
138.Lady Gaga [x]
139.Eminem [x]
140.Bloodhound Gang []
141.Fall out boy [x]
142.Alexisonfire []
143.Aqua [x]
144.Queen [x]
145.Billy Talent [x]
146.Breaking Benjamin [x]
147.Die mannequin []
148.Down with webster []
149.Foo fighters [x]
150.Green Day [x]
151.Guns N Roses [x]
152.Hedley [x]
153.Ke$sha [x]
154.The Killers [x]
155.Linking Park [x]
156.Lilly Allen []
157.Marianas Trench [x]
158.Nickelback [x]
159.Nirvana [x]
160.PANIC! At the disco [x]
161.Papa Roach [x]
162.Paramore [x]
163.P!ink [x]
164.Pussycat Dolls [x]
165.Rise against [x]
166.Simple Plan [x]
167.Sum 41 [x]
168.System of a down []
169.Three days grace [x]
170.30 seconds to mars []
~

My Take on Thewlis' Movie 'The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas'

So... I just finished watching 'The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas'
and...
i don't even know where to begin.
first of all, the ending was quite abrupt... but i think i liked it that way because it prompts the audience to question humanity's actions.
I'll admit i cried, but dammit it's hard not to cry. i mean, the kid was only 8 fucking years old.
I think this movie depicts the true horrors of the holocaust in a way that is very... suitable.
Because WWII has long past, we know the facts about it, and how Jews were killed, but even still we never really care about it. It's like we're sitting in social class and then we just start listing off numbers of people who were killed. Those numbers don't mean anything to us, but fuck man, after watching this movie, it actually meant something to me.
Like, that's how... painfully direct this movie is.
Even though the story is told through the eyes of an 8 year old boy, we know what's going on because we know history.
this boy doesn't know; he doesn't understand why the Jews are to be hated, he doesn't understand why his father runs this detention camp (David Thewlis was AMAZING in it btw! i absolutely loved him, but it's quite dicerning to see such a gentle friendly man by nature play such a cruel role)
the only thing he does understand is that his jewish friend isn't evil like everyone says jews are.
his innocence is what gives this movie such a dramatic effect i think. the fact that we've all been that innocent at one point in our lives... and that we all have friends whom we would help out happily without truly understanding the consequences...
I think i would recommend this movie, because the film is just... it's needed in our world. we need something like this to smack sense into us because this happened dammit, and we need to know the true horrors of it, not just some stupid words and numbers on a page. It's real.
Although the movie progresses really slowly at first, i think it's worth watching.
like at the beginning i just watched it because Thewlis was in it (HAHA so vain i know, but i love himm~~ <3) but when it started showing the interactions between the boy and the jewish people, i started watching because as people were telling him that 'Jews are bad, they're not human', i kept thinking 'no, you're wrong. we're all human'
There were more than a few times that i just wanted to stand up and scream at the computer and be like 'fucking hells! they're people! why can't you treat them like people?' and like... it just really... frustrated me to know that back then, the Germans DIDN'T see them as people, but as vermin to be exterminated.
a warning of caution though, this movie doesn't leave you feeling all too happy. instead, it makes you feel kinda disgusted with humanity in general... just an overall depressed feeling, like the kind of feeling where reality just hits you smack dab in the face.
I think... i would recommend social teachers show this in social-20 because after you watch this movie, you start understanding what it was really like. and to think that this was just a small part of it.

Excerpt.

Mirrors…

Tonks' mind often wandered, but more so whenever she lay in bed without his tantalizing (albeit tentative) touch to distract her. Usually it pondered pointless and quirky things; one example was her current focus on the full-length mirror hanging next to the closet.

She wondered what mirrors would think, seeing somebody every day. They would always reflect the same person's image, but with slight differences as they grew and changed. It would be interesting to witness such progressions over time… Naturally, some people would change quicker than others, and she thought about the glass hanging back in the bathroom of her own flat. It saw a different version of her with every morph she made, yet it always knew it was her.
At least her mirror was good-natured about it, even going so far as to suggest hair colours. Others, like the Noble and Most Ancient Mirror of Black on the wall there, were decidedly less pleasant. With its snide comments, it was no wonder Remus exerted a great deal of effort to avoid catching a glimpse of himself in it. At least, that was what she had initially assumed.

It hadn't been hard to notice his averted eyes or turned back whenever he moved past it. She had jokingly considered him being a vampire instead of a werewolf – but with that musing, the pieces fell into place. It seemed that like everything else in his life, it traced back to his lycanthropy. It had been difficult to grasp at first, since she relished every opportunity to shamelessly ogle his body; it was sobering when she realized that he clearly didn't find himself anywhere near as handsome as she did.

She knew he hated his scars, everlasting evidence of his curse that couldn't be cured or charmed away. They could be covered, but for him his tattered clothes and robes were just further reminders of his impoverished condition; the only thing he could do was try not to think about it, and thus he avoided looking at himself. No matter her reassurances that patches and scratches didn't matter, he insisted on being a man without a reflection.

Jolting back to reality and away from her contemplations, Tonks watched him walk over to his desk, his eyes purposely set on the floor and his path as far away from the looking glass as possible. She wished he could see himself like she saw him: charming, dashing, gentlemanly and sexy, despite his scars and even because of them. It was a shame mirrors didn't work that way…

And that prompted an idea to blossom in her mind. As soon as she could wrench herself away from his cosy bed and warm body, she set off to her task. It required a few hours of scouring through musty books and several failed endeavours when practising the spell, but she finally managed to bring her scheme to fruition.

It was some time before it was noticed, however, and Tonks certainly wasn't the most patient of witches. Still, she thought it all worthwhile, as the next time Remus glanced in his mirror he nearly had a heart attack when it wolf-whistled at him and cooed, "The Professor gets top marks – but bonus points if he takes off his shirt!"

He had blushed, stuttered, and begged for her to remove the charm – but she knew better. He probably could have easily done it himself if he had really wanted to, and she certainly didn't miss his futile attempts at suppressing a smile whenever he passed by and heard its seductive compliments. It took quite a while, but she caught him standing before the mirror more and more often, actually chuckling at the creative new praise spoken each time (from "Those pants look uncomfortable; perhaps you should take them off?" to "My, what big… feet you have!").

She couldn't have been happier with him more accepting of setting eyes on his body; and of course, an added bonus was that he sometimes took the mirror's suggestions to heart… Now, if only it would stop coming up with better lines than she could!

I Think.

I think... i might have done something completely and utterly stupid tonight.

Amen.

"Remus turned over in his bed again looking around at the dark room around him. There was not much to the room, except for a few things his parents had left him when they had passed away, and a few of his most favorite books. Books were something that could never betray him, something that would welcome him always with open arms to be only he, lost in the pages of fantasy. Yes, books had been his constant companions, especially in the years following James and Lilly's deaths. He was consumed by the safety they gave him and the way they could take away his pain of living."






Amen.

A World Of Imagination.

Oh my, i should really be doing my English oral presentation prep right now but i can't seem to find the will to do it LOL. thank god the school computers still let me use blogger though. i should really try to see if fanfiction.net is still available here, but i think the last time i checked it was blocked :(

bleeaahhh... the past few days have been weird... i'm not even sure i want to blog about it because i've been having weird mood swings ( i blame PMS). i go from incredibly confused and hurt to feeling so peaceful and content with my life that i could die without any regrets. it's quite an odd feeling really. and i've realized so much about myself over the past few days that it's incredible. Like, i've come to realize that i don't really know what it is that i am truly afraid of. like... i'm scared of things like ants crawling up my leg and being alone and stuff... but that's only small fears. I can live with them and they're really not that bad. But i have yet to figure out what it is that truly terrifies me. even though i probably don't want to find out what it is, i can't help but feel morbidly curious. What if it's something ridiculous? what if it's something so incredibly terrifying that i wished i had never found out? yeah... well, that's my 'fears' rant right there haha. not much of a rant if i do say so myself. XD

hmmm what else...? ooooohh, i've also rediscovered my love for books :) this is dumb because i'm not talking to anyone in particular and i'm very well aware that this blog is an inanimate (sp?) object but i'm going to phrase it as a question anyways: do you remember those days when i was younger where i would spend hours on end pouring over piles and piles of books? when i could go through 6 or 7 chapter books in one day and still be craving for more? (who am i kidding, no one knows that about me because no one's ever bothered to get to know me well enough)
yeah... i've apparently rekindled my long lost love for books :) i had forgotten how amazing it was to read a book and suddenly find yourself surrounded by a world uknown simply by a few words on a page. Lately, i've taken to daydreaming more often (or fantasizing, whatever floats your boat. but not fantasizing in a...perverted way LOL) and my imagination is back to where it was years before. haha... i don't know why i'm saying this but my level of imagination has kinda gone back to when i was obsessed with fire emblem for the first time. haha it makes me laugh to think back on it, like, i daydreamed so much that it was bordering on unhealthy LOL. it got to the point where i even imagined their scent and i could actually smell, hear, and feel the feelings in my fantasy. It was crazy... but it was also one of the happiest times of my life. I think fantasizing is my way of escaping. Because in my little make believe world, anything can happen and i can create a life where i can actually be happy.

You have no idea how much i wish i could fly. The desire sometimes is completely overwhelming and i find myself feeling more and moer trapped by the day. What i wouldn't give to suddenly sprout wings myself and like fly away from everything. Wouldn't that be amazing? to leave behind all your worries and just feel the wind on your face as you see the scenery below you flash by like a movie.
Hm, the other thing that i've realized is that the feel of a cool breeze on my face is probably my most favourite feeling in the world. i know this is going to sound so cheesy but it's kinda like all my worries and anger drift away from me. But... truthfully i think the reason i love feeling the wind on my face is because when i close my eyes, i can see it. i can see the thousands of miles of beautiful, untouched nature flowing away beheathe me and just for a moment, i can feel like i'm in my own little world and i'm flying.

LOL this post is probably one of my...weirdest. It's definately different than everything else that i've posted, but this is me. No lies, no fake smiles, no barriers. Just me. Sometimes it scares me when i realize just how many barriers i put up around myself when i'm in public. How many fake smiles i put on and the fake laughs i let out. I've done it so much that i'm starting to convince myself that it's real.

oh well... i think i'll stop this blog now since it's 10:14 and the bell is gonna right in 6 min. crap, colp's here. gotta go.

Excerpt.

There was something about the way he said her name; slowly, letting each syllable lilt off his tongue and lips. It sounded so sweet and charming in his rich voice, touched slightly by a York brogue. And strangely, she had never noticed, until this past week, how nice it sounded, "Nymph-a-dora". Somehow, when he said Nymphadora, it sounded less like a fairy on crack and more like a name belonging to an ancient queen.

Best N/R Fic Ever.

Practise…

She'd never been particularly good with words – that fact had never been clearer to her, as she paced the kitchen of Grimmauld Place, trying to figure out what to say. Eloquence was more his gift, which was one of the multitude of reasons why she liked him. Speaking of, that reminded her of why she was there in the first place, and she decided to finally just blurt it out.

"Look, here's the thing. I… I fancy you. Quite a lot, actually."

She watched as his eyebrows shot up in surprise, and he placed his mug down on the table. "Oh," was all he said, appearing rather startled.

"Oh?" she echoed back, a sinking feeling brewing in the pit of her stomach. She knew it, he didn't feel the same way…

"I'm sorry, you just caught me off guard," he began slowly, and she could see his forehead crinkle in that adorable way it tended to when he was contemplative (No, not adorable! She didn't want to be thinking like that if he was about to reject her, the prat!). He looked at her regretfully and quietly said, "I certainly wasn't expecting this… I can't possibly convey how sorry I am for giving you the wrong impression. Do I really need to explain why anything between us would be futile?"

Her jaw dropped, and indignation began to swell inside of her. "Why yes, I think you should!" He would have to come up with some damn good reasons!

"It's just that…" Here he broke off and sighed achingly, unable to meet her eyes. "I'm in love with Sirius."

She nearly choked. "Sirius!"

"What?"

"I can't believe you're teasing me like this!" Tonks shouted, striding forward and swatting the man on the back of his head.

"Oi, what was that for?" Sirius whined, rubbing the point of impact. "You asked me to play out the worst-case scenario, didn't you?"

"Yes, but it has to be realistic!" she pointed out, throwing herself into the seat opposite her infuriating cousin. "You and I both know he would never say that."

"No? I'll have you know I'm a perfectly appealing prospect!" the man told her haughtily, before dissolving into a grin. "Oh, just relax, Tonskie – I'm only having a spot of fun. Anyway, you really don't need to rehearse your little confession at all. Moony's been …well, mooning over you even more than you have over him!"

She rolled her eyes disbelievingly. "And just how do you know that?"

Sirius smirked shrewdly. "Who do you think's been playing the role of Nymphadora Tonks when Remus practises revealing his feelings?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't own this fic. credits go to ishandtwofourths.

Sad.

...it's kinda sad how i can't even understand most of the random comments i get on my blog from random ppl because it's all in simplified chinese and i only know traditional LOL

Just Cuz I Haven't Done One In A Long Time.

STEP ONE:
Spell your name with songs.

P - hotograph by Nickelback
A - ozora No Namida by Hitomi Takahashi
T - okyo Shounen by Naitomear
R - enai Shashin by 大塚 愛
I - magine by Brunch
C - hange the World by V6
I - n the Arms of An Angel by Sarah McLachlan
A - ngels by Robbie Williams


STEP TWO:
– Name: Patricia Cecilea Wong
– Birth date: 02/22/94
– Nickname: pat, patty, trish, tricia... i missing anything?
– Eye Color: brown... but i wear coloured contacts so you can't really tell XD
– Hair Color: black - brown?
– Zodiac Sign: Pisces

STEP THREE:
–The shoes you wore today: runners
– Your weaknesses: food T__T
– Your fear(s): sharks, ants (to a certain extent), grasshoppers (for the same reason as ants)
– Your perfect pizza: EVERYTHING, BUT EXTRA MUSHROOMS AND CHEESE!
– Goal you’d like to achieve: get accepted into law school

STEP FOUR:
– Your best physical feature: eyes... everything else looks pretty crappy.
– Your bedtime? whenever i want... or when mom starts yelling at me.

STEP FIVE:
This Or That…
– Pepsi or Coke? Coke Classic~~
– McDonald’s or Burger King: uhh... they're both equal... but the azn side of me says McD's
– Adidas or Nike: don't like either.
– Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Nestea
– Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
– Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino

STEP SIX:
Do You…
– Smoke: nope
– Sing: to myself yes XD
– Dance: ...does LD count?
– Have a crush: maybe ;)
– Do you think you’ve been in love? i think... i have... but not with the person you'd think o___o
– Want to go to college: university.
– Like(d) high school: its... okay i guess LOL can't complain.
– Want to get married: yes i do :) before i turn 27 hopefully... 25 would be ideal age LMAO
– Get motion sickness: yesh T___T
– Think you’re attractive: PFFTT no hahahahahaha if someone were to describe me as attractive i'd be heavily concerned about their vision.
– Think you’re a health freak: LMAO. hello? you're talking to a person who bakes sweets every week.
– Get along with your parents: ...depends.

STEP SEVEN:
In the past month…
– Gone to the mall: yep
– Eaten an entire box of Oreos: no
– Eaten Sushi: i wish :(
– Been on stage: why yes i have ;)
– Gone skating: nope
– Made homemade cookies: yep
– Gone Skinny dipping: LOL where the hell would i go skinny dipping?!
– Stolen anything: nope... but i plan to steal one of my bro's pens for shevon!

STEP EIGHT:
Ever…
– Played a game that required removal of clothing: was very closed to being conned into playing.
– If so, was it mixed company: i don't remember... i think so?
– Been beaten up: by my own brother :(
– Shoplifted: nope

STEP NINE:
– Age you hope to be married: 25!
– Numbers of Children: well... if i have it my way, i'd want twins! a boy and a girl... but if not, then i'll settle for two older boys and one little girl :)
– Describe your Dream Wedding: the day where for once in my life, i'd feel like everything was going to be okay, because i would have someone there to support me for the rest of my life.
– What country would you most like to visit? Japan... or China

STEP TEN:
In the opposite sex..
– Best eye color?: uhh... doesn't matter...?
– Best hair color?: don't care...?
– Short hair or long hair?: umm... short to medium.
– Height: taller than me... please.

STEP ELEVEN:
– Number of people I could trust with my life: hmmm... several?
– Number of CDs that I own: not many...
– Number of tattoos: none
– Number of piercings: one on each ear

Personal Quiz
Who were you with yesterday? friends
What woke you up this morning? alarm clock
Where are you? kitchen
Is tomorrow going to be a good day? i hope so
Do you like anybody? that's a secret ;)

THE PAST
Ever thrown up in public? ...i think so? can't remember
Passed out because of alcohol? nope
What’s on your mind RIGHT NOW? if my chocolate chip muffins are done yet

THE FUTURE
What kind of home would you like? a comfortable spacious house with 2 guest rooms and a second living room in the basement.
What do you want to be when you grow up? lawyer dealing with marriage. martial lawyer?
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? university

IN GENERAL
Do you like candy necklaces? no... they get sticky after a bit :(
When was the last time you fell over or ran into something? uhhh... i run into ppl daily during the break between classes LOL
Do you listen to music every day? yes
Do you still go trick or treating? sometimes LOL
What was the last thing you ate? chocolate chip muffin fresh from oven!
Are you a fast typer? depends if it's urgent
Whats your favorite type of soda? hmmm... idk.
Have you ever moved? nope
Have you ever won an award? yep
Are you listening to music right now? nope
How long ’till your birthday? ummmm...9 months?
When were you the saddest in your whole life? i...really don't know haha.
What time is it? 9:21 pm
Do you use ebay to buy or sell? nope
Who makes you mad? certain people who should really just shut up and stop talking because such an annoying voice shouldn't have the right to exist on this planet.
Have you ever heard a song written about you? no
Something you want to happen in 2010? mr right to come along ;)
Summer 2010? working with kacey at TOE... strawberry picking with Shevon... working out with Linda... FINDING A JOB! :(
Honestly, do you miss 2009? ...some of it

HONESTY SECTION
1. Honestly, what color is your underwear? i think right now it's white with red outline and has strawberries on it ;)
2. Honestly, whats on your mind? my weight T__T
3. Honestly, what are you doing right now? this quiz/survey
6. Honestly, have you done something bad today? not really...
8. Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone? Shevon
9. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? no
10. Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time? people's inability to act civil.
11. Honestly, do you bite your nails ? yes T__T
12. Honestly, have you had an eating disorder? nope.. overeating maybe o__o :'(
13. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment? ...actually... yes. i've been wanting to see him for a year now...
14. Honestly, are you keeping a big secret now? define 'big'
15. Honestly, do you have a friend you don’t actually like? why would i be friends with them if i don't like them?
17. Honestly, are you in denial? not anymore.
18. Honestly, do you get up in the middle of the night and eat? no... i like sleeping more than eating LOL
19. Honestly, do you like anyone? still very confuzzled about how i feel so i don't know HAHA
20. Honestly, does anyone like you? i don't think so :(


ANGER SECTION
1. What do you do when you’re mad? i rage
2. What’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad? nearly disabled someone...
3. Ever made anyone cry when you were mad? not that i remember or know of.
4. Do you swear when you’re mad? yep

CRYING SECTION
1.When was the last time you actually cried? for real? idk, but i had to cry for the musical LOL
2. Ever cried yourself to sleep? mhmm
3. Do certain songs make you cry? well... it used to, but it stopped after i stopped lying to myself.
4. What usually makes you cry? i'm very emotional, i'll cry at anything. heck, i cry at animations about bunnies and cats. (don't ask. it's actually really sad HAHA, in my opinion at least)

HAPPY SECTION
1. Are you usually a happy person? not really...
2. What makes you the happiest? honestly speaking? well... it's a tie between my friends and solitude in the dark.
4. Do you believe in yourself? not really
5. When people say they think you are good looking/pretty, do you get happy? if you mean it and i can tell then yes. but if i know you're lying then i'll just lie right back at you.

Definition.

Friend: a person whom you can trust, you can believe in and whom you can laugh and cry with. simply because you don't see each other all the time doesn't not mean that you are not friends. simply because you might not be in each other's lives the entire time does not mean you are not friends. it's whether or not you can come back together after that absence and still be able to smile and laugh and cry that defines whether or not you are friends and if that person is worth keeping in your life. Friendship not only includes understanding the other person, but also patience in waiting for that person to come back. If they don't, then it was never meant to be. If they do, welcome them back with open arms. The best kind of friend is a person with whom you can see only a few times during long periods of absence and still be able to talk like there had been no lapse in time since the day you became friends.

No.

No, i'm not okay. I'm sick and tired of pretending i am. I just want someone to listen.













Somebody save me...

Error? SCREW YOU! T___T

NOOO~~ SHEVONN~~ WHY IS THERE AN ERROR WHEN I TRY TO GO TO YOUR BLOG?!?! T___T

Cold Precision.

"Oh well," he said offering him a hand, "Leave these to Arthur, we need to attack Cadmus' guards."

Guy sighed at the thought of having to ride again but nevertheless mounted behind Hector. Yet, just as they turned to leave they noticed that the two remaining warriors were cantering towards them with raised weapons.

Before they even reached the, suddenly vulnerable pair, Eliwood had ridden between them and had cut them through the waist with cold precision.

"Let's go," Eliwood called ordering his horse in the direction of Cadmus. Hector followed suit.

Guy gaped with awe as his mind replayed Eliwood's attack and said, "I have never seen Eliwood kill like that."

Hector's brow creased with a frown of concern for his friend, "He is worried about Ninian… and because of that he will give his enemies no mercy."

I Thought The Poem Was Absolutely Adorable. Especially The Opening Line XD.

Hina bit her lip as she tried to keep her visage impassive and her emotions at bay.

Mathew smiled his always charming smile and hugged her tightly as he whispered in her ear a verse of the poem he had given her in Ajit.

Lazy Lady

Listen closely

Do not leave me, do not lose me

Better you

Love me

Better you

long me

For I am yours

Deeply and truly

Hina's hands curled into balls and she would have fallen to her knees in grief had it not been that he was still holding her tightly.

"I will see you in a bit," he said managing to mask his sadness with a smile.

"I love you," she said with a sob and that was all it took for tears to stream down his face.

He could not lose her… he could not lose her like he had lost Leila… Life could not be so cruel… could it?

"I love you too," he said kissing her before she broke the hug and left without a backward glance. Thus it was that she was not able to see the raw pain that showed in every line of his face.

Ah Yes. Stupidity DOES Have It's Moments No?

"I cannot tell you how happy I am to receive such interesting visitors," he boomed patting Bartre and Guy on the back and kissing Maya's pale hand.

Guy attempted to smile in order to hide the grimace of pain as the man's humongous hand left his back throbbing with pain. Bartre, however, seemed fine as he patted Woods in return with exactly the same force.

Arthur then led them to his living room as he asked them all to have a drink with him. The most expensive and delicious wine was brought out and after they were all settled, Wood decided to address something that had peaked his curiosity.

"So gentleman and lady," he said sipping at the red wine of his cup, "Tell me the story of what happened in Ajit when the army had gone to fight Oboth in Reidar."

Guy and Maya turned to their third companion. Though they had seen what had happened thanks to the King's crone they knew this was Bartre's story to tell.

Bartre nodded and, contrary to his usual attitude, he told Wood of everything that had happened in a low but smooth tone; starting from the fact that they were ambushed to his fight with Dran and his subsequent defeat at the hands of the monster.

Lord Arthur sat at the edge of his sit while Bartre recalled each blow delivered and received. In his 64 years of age, he had never heard such a mesmerizing story and he could not help but be awed when Guy and Maya complimented on Bartre's brave action with both the house on fire and with helping Kaida with Dran.

"Mr. Bartre," Wood said deeply moved, "YOU ARE SO BRAVE! AND THERE IS NOTHING ARTHUR LIKES MORE THAN BRAVERY AND HONOR! FOR THAT I HAVE DECIDED," he punched the table breaking it with the force of the blow, "THAT I WILL JOIN YOU! YOU HAVE MY VOTE, DEAR BARTE!"

Guy's and Maya's eyes were as wide as plates. This was all it took to gain the man's support? It was between ridiculous and surprising but a welcomed turn nonetheless.

"BARTRE IS HAPPY TO HAVE YOU WITH US, SIR!" Bartre said trapping the laughing man into a bear hug.

"NOW LET'S PARTY!" Wood said calling the musicians to come and play for them as he refilled their cups with wine, "FOR VICTORY!"

"For victory!" they threesome said clinking their glasses with each other. Hopefully the rest would have as good a luck as they had!

Don't Mess with the Angel Of Death's Girl.

"So what brings you to Mait?" he asked playing ignorant as servants began to bring out the first dish.

"We are here to try to make you see reason," Hector said and not caring about the dangerous glare Mills sent, he continued, "Keres Blood is a monster that should be feared, not ignored. We need you to understand that the only chance we have of achieving victory is if we fight together for if--"

"You seem to forget, Lord Hector," Drake said with a hash tone, "that we already had this discussion!"

Hector's eyebrows met in a frown and he was about to refute the man's words when Nino spoke.

"But sir," she said, her eyes filled with nothing but kindness, "we need your help! Without Chowanoc everything can go so very wrong… Lives will be lost and… before you know it… when at last you need help, there will be no one left to lend a hand!"

Drake's eyes widened at this. That was a probability he had not foreseen.

"Do you want me to help you, Lady Nino?" he asked taking one of her hands in his.

Yet, before the girl could say anything Jaffar had taken out a knife and, without thinking, had pierced the table before him angrily.

Mills' eyes widened with something between anger and awe at the strength of the man. And such was his surprise that he did not felt when Nino's hand was rapidly retrieved.

"Do not touch her…please," Jaffar said dangerously as, letting go of the dagger, the hilt of the weapon trembled from side to side.

Mills smiled, "I see…"

Hector had feared that perhaps everything was lost after the assassin's stunt yet, to puzzle them all, Drake laughed happily.

"I will make a deal with you Jaffar," the Lord of Mait said standing up and signaling one of the servants to bring his dummy weapons, "Let's have a mock battle. If you win, I will join your cause…"

"And if he losses?" asked Hector not really liking where this was going.

"If he looses… then the girl stays with me… And she marries me," he said as his dark eyes drank the form of Nino. The man then puffed his chest out; the fact that we was 35 and she was no older then 16 apparently forgotten with the ridiculous bet.

Jaffar tensed but before he could paint a bloody smile upon the idiot's neck, Hector agreed knowing that this was their only chance and that, thankfully, Jaffar could not lose.

The battle did not take long. Ten minutes after the mock dance had begun Jaffar had successfully not only disarmed Drake but also managed to place his wooden sword on the other's neck marking his undeniable victory.

"Fine," Drake said with something between uninterested and irritation, "I will join you. You have my vote but it means nothing without the rest."

Hector clapped Jaffar on the shoulder happily and said to Mills, "Those are the most excellent news! And do not worry about the rest… we are working on them too."

The Lord of Mait shook his head as he returned to the table intent on continuing their dinner seemingly unperturbed.

Same Story. Same Author. Different Scene.

YAY! i found another scene dedicated to me~~ i feel so loved X3

Special Scene for Inuyashagirl22:


A day had passed since his return. Jaffar was sitting on a chair beside the bed of Nino, who, though the healers had said she was alright, had not woken still. He had, afterwards, called Maya to check on Nino, fearing that perhaps the healers of Ajit where incompetents, but even she had put his mind at ease saying she was probably tired.

Jaffar sighed remembering the image the King had shown them of Nino's power. What did it mean that Nino could use such forces?

"Jaffar?" he snapped off his reverie and quickly leaned over towards the bed.

He smiled when he saw her beautiful green eyes upon him. She looked refreshed, peaceful and beautiful and he wondered again how it was she had ended up with someone like him!

"Have you been here for long?" she asked while taking his hand in hers and singling him to lie beside her.

He smiled awkwardly and meekly followed her unsaid order, getting his hands around her slim form.

"Not that long," he said kissing her forehead lightly and feeling a bit of a blush upon his cheeks, "how are you feeling?"

She nudged his neck and smiled, "I am feeling alive."

He smiled back, "I am glad."

"How is Lucius though?" she asked once she had remembered the pale looking monk who had saved her.

Jaffar tightened his arms around her, "He is alright. I 'talked' to him this morning and he was as… lively as usual."

Of course by 'talking to him' Jaffar meant he had been nodding while Lucius had been the one talking.

She smiled, "that's good to hear."

Jaffar X Nino X3 SQUEE~~

Ah yes... i remember now, an old fanfiction friend of mine had decided to dedicate a scene (well, more like the entire chapter because it took the entire chapter to set up that one scene) for me. XD sometimes being a dedicated reviewer DOES pay off. Anyways. i had completely forgotten about this until i decided to reread this fanfiction, and i can say i'm honored to have a scene dedicated to me, much less be mentioned, in this epic fanfiction written by FenixPhoenix. I'm going to post the scene dedicated to me here but i'll include a link at the end for the entire chapter.

--(Special Scene for Inuyashagirl22)--
Jaffar and Nino were standing in front of a small lake. It was the same place were Jaffar had found Raven after his first encounter with Caesar had taken place and he had thought it the best place to recite his poem to Nino.

"Isn't it all so romantic!" the girl exclaimed excitedly as she played around with the fireflies.

Jaffar nodded; his eyes soft and protective as he followed her like a shadow and a guardian. After a while he decided it was time to gather his wit and let her know what lie inside his heart.

"Nino," she turned to him with the smile still on her face.

"What is it Jaffar?" she asked when he remained silence and by his serious demeanor she thought for an instant he was going to tell her something bad, "is everything alright?"

"Indeed," he replied and then continued, "Nino, I need to tell you two things."

She tilted her head, "you know you can tell me anything, Jaffar."

"I asked Eliwood to allow you to stay here tomorrow," he explained.

"What?! Why?!" she could not believe her ears. Why had he done that? Did he not want her by his side? "Am I a burden to you?"

She was on the verge of crying and Jaffar, not having foreseen this, quickly explained.

"That is not it, Nino."

"Then what is it?"

"You are too important to me," he replied stopping her tears, "I want nothing to happen to you. I wish you to be as far away from harm as possible because…"

"Because what?" she asked with curiosity replacing sadness.

Jaffar's answer was to recite his poem:

An angel of darkness
Whose world was obscure
Met the angel of brightness
Whose life she cure

His heart was a stone
And his feelings were gone
But when he saw her –there alone
His feelings were catch by a cyclone

His eyes, made of ice
His hands, red with blood
Her eyes melt the ice
Her touch cleaned the blood

At first he did not understand
So ignorant he had been kept
Used only to answer a command
He felt confusion crept

But she showed him the way
When she intertwined her fate
So young and so gay
She was his soul-mate

He love her he knew
And found she did too
So he basked in that truth
And told her: Thank you

Nino's tears were now those of joy as she ran into his arms. Her petite arms circled his strong waist and she smiled when she felt him hugging her back without reservations as his chin came to rest atop her head. He then began kissing her locks and her forehead with feathery lips.

"Do not hate me, Nino," he said, "I cannot endure it."

"I don't," she replied quickly and, standing on tiptoes managed to kiss him, "I understand… and I will wait for you here."

"And I will come back," he replied, "I promise…"



http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2236502/36/The_Beginning_of_the_End

Hats off to the author for managing to put together one of the most epic fan authored sequels to Fire Emblem 7: The Blazing Sword (Sword of Flames)

excerpt from same piece as previous blog. You gotta love Hector sometimes :)

"Mathew," came the Lord's voice, "Don't you dare pass out on me now! I haven't given you permission yet!"

Small Excerpt From 'The Beginning of the End' by FenixPhoenix

"So... okay, a white gem," announced the lavender hair assassin "says that the stranger wins."

"Deal!" chriped Mathew. "She will never win against Guy! He was trained by the famous 'Demon of Swords', remember?"

"I wouldn't be so sure if I were you, she looks pretty strong to me."

"Yeah, she is good alright... but only at dodging slow crew members."

"We'll see... just remember there is no going back on the bet."

"On my honor," answered the thief, placing a hand –rather mockingly- above his heart.

"You better swear on something else... thieves have no honor," Legault advised narrowing his eyes.

"What!" Mathew gave a step back as though he had been physically punched on the face.

"Don't forget I was a thief myself," the assassin reminded casually, but the look he was giving him was stern.

"Oh, right... well, I swear on… the life of Serra?"

"Keep trying..."

"Alright, alright... I swear on my Ostian Lord."

"You are getting a little better…" smiled Legault.

Small Excerpt from a 50 Drabble fic by Kawaii-Chan789

"Eliwood, look!" Hector exclaimed with a childlike excitement that he had not used since… Well, for as long as he could remember, at least.

Eliwood heaved a heavy sigh. "Hector, what is there to see in our impending doom?"

"Oh, now, would you get out of your spectacular little mood just long enough to see-"

"Ninian!" Eliwood exclaimed, scrambling his way up the stairs to tackle his beloved in an embrace like no other.

…The dragons poured from the portal and roared in an ominous fury, however, not even the greatness of that evil could ruin this moment in Ninian's rebirth.

Deadmonton? Get the Fuck Out Then.

it really bothers me when people refer to here as 'deadmonton'. i dont know why. it just... really really bothers me. Not bothers me in like 'i get mad' sort of way, but it bothers me to think that everyone would just get up and leave someday if they were old enough.
i think that it bothers me cuz i usually associate it with jackass. even though now i couldn't care less, i do care about other people though. and i don't want those other people to leave. I know it seems like edmonton doesn't have much to offer... but this is home isn't it...? don't be so quick to cast off the place where you grew up and made your first friends.
lately all i've been hearing about is how people just want to leave this place... and it's kinda upsetting to say at the least. it makes me feel kinda alone. am i the only one who doesn't mind it here? will i be the only one left here...?
and like.. it pisses me off when i read some peopl's status that is like : 'If it weren't for you guys, i'd stay here'
like honestly. if you're going to post such a thing, just stay there for all i care. I don't need a person like you saying how crappy this place is compared to other places. It guess it doesn't matter to you that this is the place you grew up, this is the place you created unforgettable memories, and THIS is the place where you can call home.
Sometimes i feel like everyone's not the people i thought they were. And i'll admit that i think about pretty much leaving everything behind more often than naught. and when i say leave everything behind, i don't mean move to another city.
*sigh* the more i think about it, the more i believe that my 'friends' aren't really my real friends. everyone's a faker. and it's getting kinda old.
Actually, i think the main thing is i feel kinda lonely...
Lonely because everyone hates it here, lonely because everyone's probably going to leave here, lonely because the more i think, the more alone i become.
maybe i care too much. wouldn't it be nice to just be heartless? that way nothing could hurt me. Although then again, that would have it's downsides too i guess.
haha... i think the more i fantasize about just disappearing, the more i long for it. lol... wouldn't it be nice to just disappear? so i won't have to worry about nothing, not have to feel upset, not have to feel lonely because there's only a pitch black oblivion.
I wonder if darkness is what you get after you die. If so, i think that'd be very nice... i've come to realize i hate it when i have time on my hands. because there's so much i think about and so much that i come to realize in such a short amount of time that it kinda kills who i am.
Ever have that feeling where you think everyone hates you? or at least doesn't like you? imagine having that feeling permanently etched into the back of your mind. It's very bothersome actually... and like i mentioned in a previous blog, even though it doesn't bother me as much anymore, it feels like the complete opposite. the more i say that i don't care, the less true it becomes, and yet at the same time, the more i start not giving a rats ass.
argh. maybe it's because of this cold? idk, i hate being sick because everytime i'm sick, i always go into this stupid uncontrollable crying mode. where i'll randomly cry at the stupidest things. quite annoying actually.
anywayz...
ugh... i don't feel like continuing this blog since i'm in such a crappy mood. Sorry shevon, i know i promised you a long blog but i think i'll have to write it tmrw or something...

Lonely.

You know that feeling you have where you feel like you couldn't be more alone? Yeah.

In Class.

So i really should be doing my world literature paper assignment but i really don't feel like it. Melissa is watching every word i type and is currently laughing. i think i will do a play by play commentary as i am typing this up. NOw she is staring intently at the sreen wondering what the hell i am going to say next. this is actually a very pointless blog. i don't know why i'm taking up space and time just for this. Melissa can't see the end of the screen and is leaning over to read. Can you read it now?
Melissa: Patricia is a mind reader... 0_o
Yes yes, very good to know. Actually i think that she is having more fun reading this than doing her work. HAHA.
Melissa: i WASS actually going to work on my paper but..ahemmm patricia distracted me!
I didn't distract no one. you just happened to become sidetracked and started typing random things on my blog. What a useless blog. seriously.
I crave chips. Melissa's damn 'plastic dreams' website takes so goddamn long to load. yeesh. these shoes had better be made of 100% real plastic or else i will file a complaint. false advertising mil. false advertising. tsk tsk.
ERROR!?!? WHY CAN'T I SEE THE PAGEE~~
screw that website, it's only because we clicked on mongolia for the country. canada was OBVIOUSLY the better choice.
ah crap. gotta go, apparently we had some guest speakers we didnt know about.

Jacked After reading Shevon's Blog XD

1. Was your last kiss, standing up, sitting down, or laying down?
standing i believe? wait, kiss on the lips, cheek, or forehead? because kiss on the lips was standing, kiss on cheek was standing, but kiss on forehead was sitting while tilting back.

2. What’s more important, trust or happiness?
Trust. happiness comes with it.

3. Is there anyone that could make your day if they showed up at your house?
Yes

4. How long have you lived at your current residence?
my entire life :)

5. What do you cough on more, your hand or your elbow?
elbow. who the hell coughs on their hand anymore after that god horrible video that was shown to us like spammage?

6. Which do you think is a gesture of true love: fighting for somebody or letting them go?
Fighting for someone. because if you let them go that means that you've either given up on ever being happy or you just don't need them in your life anymore.

7. Have you given somebody more second chances than you can count?
yup. pretty stupid of me. i should probably learn from my mistakes.

8. Who was the last person to surprise you by being there for you when you needed it?
Hmm... I've got to say Jennifer. Like, i knew she'd be there for me, but i didn't know she'd support me the whole nine yards. i mean, she even offered to stay with me whenever she was available :)

9. Do your good memories outweigh the bad?
yep :)

10. On a typical day/night, what do you have a harder time with: falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up?
waking up. I take a long time to fall asleep but i like that part because i think of things i would like to dream about XD i could stay asleep for ages if i wanted haha

11. Last thing you touched not computer-related?
mah jong tiles? or was it my cup?

12. If you married the last person that text messaged you, what would your last name be?
...i don't have text HAHA

13. Anyone from your past ever come to mind often?
Hm. my old best friends occasionally pop in and out. but not really.

14. Do you have tea bags in your room?
No... why would i? o.O

15. How many times has your most played song been played on iTunes?
about 500 some. i think.

16. If the person who recently pissed you off the most apologized, would you forgive them?
depends on how good the apology is. and how sincere.

17. Could you ever be in a long distance relationship with somebody?
if i really loved them yes.

18. What color shirt is your mom wearing today?
black and white.

19. What would you do if your parents caught you having sex?
They won't. HAHA.

20. Have you ever loved anyone more than you love yourself?
yes.

21. Have you ever been in love with one of your friends?
Hmmm... yes, a long long time ago HAHA although did i even know what love was back then? i do know that i've had nightmares about losing that person... and it scared the shit out of me.

22. Honestly, do you see yourself as a slut?
not really no... i see myself as a shrubby azn kid who loves pandas just a tad bit too much. BUT I CAN'T HELP IT, THEY'RE SO FUZZY AND CUTE... X3 *huggles*

23. Would you ever lie to someone to make them feel good about themselves?
Depends how close they are to me and what the subject is.

24. Do you have a picture of you kissing someone?
errmm.. i don't have it, but i know of one in existence.

25. Do you find quotes that you feel had been written for you?
yes, all the time. it's quite depressing actually.

26. Is there someone that you can't stop thinking about that doesn't know it?
Nope HAHA i tend to think about pandas and food usually... XD

27. Can you tell who's fake and who's real anymore?
Usually. sometimes there are those really good fakers though.

28. When was the last time karma bit you in the ass?
Karma bite me? sorry, i ATE karma ;) jk haha

29. What color is the closest doorknob?
Gold.

30. In the past month, have you gained weight, lost weight, or stayed the same?
gained T_____T

32. Do you tell your parents where you are going?
yup. can't leave without.

33. Have you ever felt alone even then you're in a room with a bunch of people?
More often than naught.

34. Have you seen someone (that's not a family member) naked?
Actually yes... *sweatdrop*

Oh Dear.

HAHA

is it bad that i think this grade 9 kid is cute? XD
cute as in "DAMN I WISH HE WERE OLDER THEN I COULD HIT ON HIM" ROFL ROFL ROFL XDD

Shevon, this is something you can read on my blog. I updated it just for you LMAO

Love.

http://www.onemanga.com/Special_A/76/30/

XD

Reminiscent

I was lying in bed last night... and a memory from a few months back came to me...
'What would you do if you thought the person you loved the most in this world didn't love you back?'

Excerpt from Neji/Tenten fic. 'Disillusioned'

Tenten shrugged. "Your hair was softer than mine, and longer, most girls can't help but get envious. I mean...now though." Her hands brushed through loose strands of his hair. "You still let me, and you threaten anyone else who gets remotely near you."

"You've never come after it with scissors and sparkly hair clips." He explained simply allowing her hand to run slowly through his hair.

The Blog Where I Forget What I'm Talking About Halfway Through.

hahaha...
you know, sometimes i really wonder about my life.
like... so much has happened these past few weeks and it feels like i'm losing myself. i don't even know who i am anymore. i can't sort out my feelings, i don't know WHY i feel whatever it is i feel compared to before when i used to know exactly why i felt a certain way and what caused it.
i figured out... i don't like change. XD
i like routine... and i like something i can rely on.
I think it's because i'm scared of what i don't know. I'm scared of what could happen and what will happen because i want to be able to anticipate anything and everything so that i will be able to keep up this facade i have going.
i don't WANT change. i don't want anything new. fuck.
haha
another thing i've realized.
i've been a coward all this time
i've run away from anything that has caused me pain
probably why i've left my blog alone for so long
and like...
i think...
i like having someone.
i like the company.
i like having someone always there for me.
so...
boy hunting time :D
ROFL ROFL ROFL.
but yeah... i completely forgot what i was gonna blog about thanks to my conversation with chris.
oh well. XD

Conversation with my Dad.

Me: hey dad, you have to go grocery shopping with mom. there's nothing in the fridge.
Dad: oh, okay, can you wait until i eat a snack?
Me: there's nothing in the fridge.
Dad: just let me check.
*checks fridge*
Dad: oh, there really isn't anything to eat...
Me: yeah, i told you that. now go shopping with mom.
Dad: oh lets have pho tonight! that way, while we go shopping you can watch over the soup.
Me: there's nothing to make the soup out of.
Dad:...oh yeah, that's right.

Happy New Year!

Hello 2010 :)