"Oh well," he said offering him a hand, "Leave these to Arthur, we need to attack Cadmus' guards."
Guy sighed at the thought of having to ride again but nevertheless mounted behind Hector. Yet, just as they turned to leave they noticed that the two remaining warriors were cantering towards them with raised weapons.
Before they even reached the, suddenly vulnerable pair, Eliwood had ridden between them and had cut them through the waist with cold precision.
"Let's go," Eliwood called ordering his horse in the direction of Cadmus. Hector followed suit.
Guy gaped with awe as his mind replayed Eliwood's attack and said, "I have never seen Eliwood kill like that."
Hector's brow creased with a frown of concern for his friend, "He is worried about Ninian… and because of that he will give his enemies no mercy."
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
I Thought The Poem Was Absolutely Adorable. Especially The Opening Line XD.
Hina bit her lip as she tried to keep her visage impassive and her emotions at bay.
Mathew smiled his always charming smile and hugged her tightly as he whispered in her ear a verse of the poem he had given her in Ajit.
Lazy Lady
Listen closely
Do not leave me, do not lose me
Better you
Love me
Better you
long me
For I am yours
Deeply and truly
Hina's hands curled into balls and she would have fallen to her knees in grief had it not been that he was still holding her tightly.
"I will see you in a bit," he said managing to mask his sadness with a smile.
"I love you," she said with a sob and that was all it took for tears to stream down his face.
He could not lose her… he could not lose her like he had lost Leila… Life could not be so cruel… could it?
"I love you too," he said kissing her before she broke the hug and left without a backward glance. Thus it was that she was not able to see the raw pain that showed in every line of his face.
Mathew smiled his always charming smile and hugged her tightly as he whispered in her ear a verse of the poem he had given her in Ajit.
Lazy Lady
Listen closely
Do not leave me, do not lose me
Better you
Love me
Better you
long me
For I am yours
Deeply and truly
Hina's hands curled into balls and she would have fallen to her knees in grief had it not been that he was still holding her tightly.
"I will see you in a bit," he said managing to mask his sadness with a smile.
"I love you," she said with a sob and that was all it took for tears to stream down his face.
He could not lose her… he could not lose her like he had lost Leila… Life could not be so cruel… could it?
"I love you too," he said kissing her before she broke the hug and left without a backward glance. Thus it was that she was not able to see the raw pain that showed in every line of his face.
Ah Yes. Stupidity DOES Have It's Moments No?
"I cannot tell you how happy I am to receive such interesting visitors," he boomed patting Bartre and Guy on the back and kissing Maya's pale hand.
Guy attempted to smile in order to hide the grimace of pain as the man's humongous hand left his back throbbing with pain. Bartre, however, seemed fine as he patted Woods in return with exactly the same force.
Arthur then led them to his living room as he asked them all to have a drink with him. The most expensive and delicious wine was brought out and after they were all settled, Wood decided to address something that had peaked his curiosity.
"So gentleman and lady," he said sipping at the red wine of his cup, "Tell me the story of what happened in Ajit when the army had gone to fight Oboth in Reidar."
Guy and Maya turned to their third companion. Though they had seen what had happened thanks to the King's crone they knew this was Bartre's story to tell.
Bartre nodded and, contrary to his usual attitude, he told Wood of everything that had happened in a low but smooth tone; starting from the fact that they were ambushed to his fight with Dran and his subsequent defeat at the hands of the monster.
Lord Arthur sat at the edge of his sit while Bartre recalled each blow delivered and received. In his 64 years of age, he had never heard such a mesmerizing story and he could not help but be awed when Guy and Maya complimented on Bartre's brave action with both the house on fire and with helping Kaida with Dran.
"Mr. Bartre," Wood said deeply moved, "YOU ARE SO BRAVE! AND THERE IS NOTHING ARTHUR LIKES MORE THAN BRAVERY AND HONOR! FOR THAT I HAVE DECIDED," he punched the table breaking it with the force of the blow, "THAT I WILL JOIN YOU! YOU HAVE MY VOTE, DEAR BARTE!"
Guy's and Maya's eyes were as wide as plates. This was all it took to gain the man's support? It was between ridiculous and surprising but a welcomed turn nonetheless.
"BARTRE IS HAPPY TO HAVE YOU WITH US, SIR!" Bartre said trapping the laughing man into a bear hug.
"NOW LET'S PARTY!" Wood said calling the musicians to come and play for them as he refilled their cups with wine, "FOR VICTORY!"
"For victory!" they threesome said clinking their glasses with each other. Hopefully the rest would have as good a luck as they had!
Guy attempted to smile in order to hide the grimace of pain as the man's humongous hand left his back throbbing with pain. Bartre, however, seemed fine as he patted Woods in return with exactly the same force.
Arthur then led them to his living room as he asked them all to have a drink with him. The most expensive and delicious wine was brought out and after they were all settled, Wood decided to address something that had peaked his curiosity.
"So gentleman and lady," he said sipping at the red wine of his cup, "Tell me the story of what happened in Ajit when the army had gone to fight Oboth in Reidar."
Guy and Maya turned to their third companion. Though they had seen what had happened thanks to the King's crone they knew this was Bartre's story to tell.
Bartre nodded and, contrary to his usual attitude, he told Wood of everything that had happened in a low but smooth tone; starting from the fact that they were ambushed to his fight with Dran and his subsequent defeat at the hands of the monster.
Lord Arthur sat at the edge of his sit while Bartre recalled each blow delivered and received. In his 64 years of age, he had never heard such a mesmerizing story and he could not help but be awed when Guy and Maya complimented on Bartre's brave action with both the house on fire and with helping Kaida with Dran.
"Mr. Bartre," Wood said deeply moved, "YOU ARE SO BRAVE! AND THERE IS NOTHING ARTHUR LIKES MORE THAN BRAVERY AND HONOR! FOR THAT I HAVE DECIDED," he punched the table breaking it with the force of the blow, "THAT I WILL JOIN YOU! YOU HAVE MY VOTE, DEAR BARTE!"
Guy's and Maya's eyes were as wide as plates. This was all it took to gain the man's support? It was between ridiculous and surprising but a welcomed turn nonetheless.
"BARTRE IS HAPPY TO HAVE YOU WITH US, SIR!" Bartre said trapping the laughing man into a bear hug.
"NOW LET'S PARTY!" Wood said calling the musicians to come and play for them as he refilled their cups with wine, "FOR VICTORY!"
"For victory!" they threesome said clinking their glasses with each other. Hopefully the rest would have as good a luck as they had!
Don't Mess with the Angel Of Death's Girl.
"So what brings you to Mait?" he asked playing ignorant as servants began to bring out the first dish.
"We are here to try to make you see reason," Hector said and not caring about the dangerous glare Mills sent, he continued, "Keres Blood is a monster that should be feared, not ignored. We need you to understand that the only chance we have of achieving victory is if we fight together for if--"
"You seem to forget, Lord Hector," Drake said with a hash tone, "that we already had this discussion!"
Hector's eyebrows met in a frown and he was about to refute the man's words when Nino spoke.
"But sir," she said, her eyes filled with nothing but kindness, "we need your help! Without Chowanoc everything can go so very wrong… Lives will be lost and… before you know it… when at last you need help, there will be no one left to lend a hand!"
Drake's eyes widened at this. That was a probability he had not foreseen.
"Do you want me to help you, Lady Nino?" he asked taking one of her hands in his.
Yet, before the girl could say anything Jaffar had taken out a knife and, without thinking, had pierced the table before him angrily.
Mills' eyes widened with something between anger and awe at the strength of the man. And such was his surprise that he did not felt when Nino's hand was rapidly retrieved.
"Do not touch her…please," Jaffar said dangerously as, letting go of the dagger, the hilt of the weapon trembled from side to side.
Mills smiled, "I see…"
Hector had feared that perhaps everything was lost after the assassin's stunt yet, to puzzle them all, Drake laughed happily.
"I will make a deal with you Jaffar," the Lord of Mait said standing up and signaling one of the servants to bring his dummy weapons, "Let's have a mock battle. If you win, I will join your cause…"
"And if he losses?" asked Hector not really liking where this was going.
"If he looses… then the girl stays with me… And she marries me," he said as his dark eyes drank the form of Nino. The man then puffed his chest out; the fact that we was 35 and she was no older then 16 apparently forgotten with the ridiculous bet.
Jaffar tensed but before he could paint a bloody smile upon the idiot's neck, Hector agreed knowing that this was their only chance and that, thankfully, Jaffar could not lose.
The battle did not take long. Ten minutes after the mock dance had begun Jaffar had successfully not only disarmed Drake but also managed to place his wooden sword on the other's neck marking his undeniable victory.
"Fine," Drake said with something between uninterested and irritation, "I will join you. You have my vote but it means nothing without the rest."
Hector clapped Jaffar on the shoulder happily and said to Mills, "Those are the most excellent news! And do not worry about the rest… we are working on them too."
The Lord of Mait shook his head as he returned to the table intent on continuing their dinner seemingly unperturbed.
"We are here to try to make you see reason," Hector said and not caring about the dangerous glare Mills sent, he continued, "Keres Blood is a monster that should be feared, not ignored. We need you to understand that the only chance we have of achieving victory is if we fight together for if--"
"You seem to forget, Lord Hector," Drake said with a hash tone, "that we already had this discussion!"
Hector's eyebrows met in a frown and he was about to refute the man's words when Nino spoke.
"But sir," she said, her eyes filled with nothing but kindness, "we need your help! Without Chowanoc everything can go so very wrong… Lives will be lost and… before you know it… when at last you need help, there will be no one left to lend a hand!"
Drake's eyes widened at this. That was a probability he had not foreseen.
"Do you want me to help you, Lady Nino?" he asked taking one of her hands in his.
Yet, before the girl could say anything Jaffar had taken out a knife and, without thinking, had pierced the table before him angrily.
Mills' eyes widened with something between anger and awe at the strength of the man. And such was his surprise that he did not felt when Nino's hand was rapidly retrieved.
"Do not touch her…please," Jaffar said dangerously as, letting go of the dagger, the hilt of the weapon trembled from side to side.
Mills smiled, "I see…"
Hector had feared that perhaps everything was lost after the assassin's stunt yet, to puzzle them all, Drake laughed happily.
"I will make a deal with you Jaffar," the Lord of Mait said standing up and signaling one of the servants to bring his dummy weapons, "Let's have a mock battle. If you win, I will join your cause…"
"And if he losses?" asked Hector not really liking where this was going.
"If he looses… then the girl stays with me… And she marries me," he said as his dark eyes drank the form of Nino. The man then puffed his chest out; the fact that we was 35 and she was no older then 16 apparently forgotten with the ridiculous bet.
Jaffar tensed but before he could paint a bloody smile upon the idiot's neck, Hector agreed knowing that this was their only chance and that, thankfully, Jaffar could not lose.
The battle did not take long. Ten minutes after the mock dance had begun Jaffar had successfully not only disarmed Drake but also managed to place his wooden sword on the other's neck marking his undeniable victory.
"Fine," Drake said with something between uninterested and irritation, "I will join you. You have my vote but it means nothing without the rest."
Hector clapped Jaffar on the shoulder happily and said to Mills, "Those are the most excellent news! And do not worry about the rest… we are working on them too."
The Lord of Mait shook his head as he returned to the table intent on continuing their dinner seemingly unperturbed.
Same Story. Same Author. Different Scene.
YAY! i found another scene dedicated to me~~ i feel so loved X3
Special Scene for Inuyashagirl22:
A day had passed since his return. Jaffar was sitting on a chair beside the bed of Nino, who, though the healers had said she was alright, had not woken still. He had, afterwards, called Maya to check on Nino, fearing that perhaps the healers of Ajit where incompetents, but even she had put his mind at ease saying she was probably tired.
Jaffar sighed remembering the image the King had shown them of Nino's power. What did it mean that Nino could use such forces?
"Jaffar?" he snapped off his reverie and quickly leaned over towards the bed.
He smiled when he saw her beautiful green eyes upon him. She looked refreshed, peaceful and beautiful and he wondered again how it was she had ended up with someone like him!
"Have you been here for long?" she asked while taking his hand in hers and singling him to lie beside her.
He smiled awkwardly and meekly followed her unsaid order, getting his hands around her slim form.
"Not that long," he said kissing her forehead lightly and feeling a bit of a blush upon his cheeks, "how are you feeling?"
She nudged his neck and smiled, "I am feeling alive."
He smiled back, "I am glad."
"How is Lucius though?" she asked once she had remembered the pale looking monk who had saved her.
Jaffar tightened his arms around her, "He is alright. I 'talked' to him this morning and he was as… lively as usual."
Of course by 'talking to him' Jaffar meant he had been nodding while Lucius had been the one talking.
She smiled, "that's good to hear."
Special Scene for Inuyashagirl22:
A day had passed since his return. Jaffar was sitting on a chair beside the bed of Nino, who, though the healers had said she was alright, had not woken still. He had, afterwards, called Maya to check on Nino, fearing that perhaps the healers of Ajit where incompetents, but even she had put his mind at ease saying she was probably tired.
Jaffar sighed remembering the image the King had shown them of Nino's power. What did it mean that Nino could use such forces?
"Jaffar?" he snapped off his reverie and quickly leaned over towards the bed.
He smiled when he saw her beautiful green eyes upon him. She looked refreshed, peaceful and beautiful and he wondered again how it was she had ended up with someone like him!
"Have you been here for long?" she asked while taking his hand in hers and singling him to lie beside her.
He smiled awkwardly and meekly followed her unsaid order, getting his hands around her slim form.
"Not that long," he said kissing her forehead lightly and feeling a bit of a blush upon his cheeks, "how are you feeling?"
She nudged his neck and smiled, "I am feeling alive."
He smiled back, "I am glad."
"How is Lucius though?" she asked once she had remembered the pale looking monk who had saved her.
Jaffar tightened his arms around her, "He is alright. I 'talked' to him this morning and he was as… lively as usual."
Of course by 'talking to him' Jaffar meant he had been nodding while Lucius had been the one talking.
She smiled, "that's good to hear."
Jaffar X Nino X3 SQUEE~~
Ah yes... i remember now, an old fanfiction friend of mine had decided to dedicate a scene (well, more like the entire chapter because it took the entire chapter to set up that one scene) for me. XD sometimes being a dedicated reviewer DOES pay off. Anyways. i had completely forgotten about this until i decided to reread this fanfiction, and i can say i'm honored to have a scene dedicated to me, much less be mentioned, in this epic fanfiction written by FenixPhoenix. I'm going to post the scene dedicated to me here but i'll include a link at the end for the entire chapter.
--(Special Scene for Inuyashagirl22)--
Jaffar and Nino were standing in front of a small lake. It was the same place were Jaffar had found Raven after his first encounter with Caesar had taken place and he had thought it the best place to recite his poem to Nino.
"Isn't it all so romantic!" the girl exclaimed excitedly as she played around with the fireflies.
Jaffar nodded; his eyes soft and protective as he followed her like a shadow and a guardian. After a while he decided it was time to gather his wit and let her know what lie inside his heart.
"Nino," she turned to him with the smile still on her face.
"What is it Jaffar?" she asked when he remained silence and by his serious demeanor she thought for an instant he was going to tell her something bad, "is everything alright?"
"Indeed," he replied and then continued, "Nino, I need to tell you two things."
She tilted her head, "you know you can tell me anything, Jaffar."
"I asked Eliwood to allow you to stay here tomorrow," he explained.
"What?! Why?!" she could not believe her ears. Why had he done that? Did he not want her by his side? "Am I a burden to you?"
She was on the verge of crying and Jaffar, not having foreseen this, quickly explained.
"That is not it, Nino."
"Then what is it?"
"You are too important to me," he replied stopping her tears, "I want nothing to happen to you. I wish you to be as far away from harm as possible because…"
"Because what?" she asked with curiosity replacing sadness.
Jaffar's answer was to recite his poem:
An angel of darkness
Whose world was obscure
Met the angel of brightness
Whose life she cure
His heart was a stone
And his feelings were gone
But when he saw her –there alone
His feelings were catch by a cyclone
His eyes, made of ice
His hands, red with blood
Her eyes melt the ice
Her touch cleaned the blood
At first he did not understand
So ignorant he had been kept
Used only to answer a command
He felt confusion crept
But she showed him the way
When she intertwined her fate
So young and so gay
She was his soul-mate
He love her he knew
And found she did too
So he basked in that truth
And told her: Thank you
Nino's tears were now those of joy as she ran into his arms. Her petite arms circled his strong waist and she smiled when she felt him hugging her back without reservations as his chin came to rest atop her head. He then began kissing her locks and her forehead with feathery lips.
"Do not hate me, Nino," he said, "I cannot endure it."
"I don't," she replied quickly and, standing on tiptoes managed to kiss him, "I understand… and I will wait for you here."
"And I will come back," he replied, "I promise…"
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2236502/36/The_Beginning_of_the_End
Hats off to the author for managing to put together one of the most epic fan authored sequels to Fire Emblem 7: The Blazing Sword (Sword of Flames)
--(Special Scene for Inuyashagirl22)--
Jaffar and Nino were standing in front of a small lake. It was the same place were Jaffar had found Raven after his first encounter with Caesar had taken place and he had thought it the best place to recite his poem to Nino.
"Isn't it all so romantic!" the girl exclaimed excitedly as she played around with the fireflies.
Jaffar nodded; his eyes soft and protective as he followed her like a shadow and a guardian. After a while he decided it was time to gather his wit and let her know what lie inside his heart.
"Nino," she turned to him with the smile still on her face.
"What is it Jaffar?" she asked when he remained silence and by his serious demeanor she thought for an instant he was going to tell her something bad, "is everything alright?"
"Indeed," he replied and then continued, "Nino, I need to tell you two things."
She tilted her head, "you know you can tell me anything, Jaffar."
"I asked Eliwood to allow you to stay here tomorrow," he explained.
"What?! Why?!" she could not believe her ears. Why had he done that? Did he not want her by his side? "Am I a burden to you?"
She was on the verge of crying and Jaffar, not having foreseen this, quickly explained.
"That is not it, Nino."
"Then what is it?"
"You are too important to me," he replied stopping her tears, "I want nothing to happen to you. I wish you to be as far away from harm as possible because…"
"Because what?" she asked with curiosity replacing sadness.
Jaffar's answer was to recite his poem:
An angel of darkness
Whose world was obscure
Met the angel of brightness
Whose life she cure
His heart was a stone
And his feelings were gone
But when he saw her –there alone
His feelings were catch by a cyclone
His eyes, made of ice
His hands, red with blood
Her eyes melt the ice
Her touch cleaned the blood
At first he did not understand
So ignorant he had been kept
Used only to answer a command
He felt confusion crept
But she showed him the way
When she intertwined her fate
So young and so gay
She was his soul-mate
He love her he knew
And found she did too
So he basked in that truth
And told her: Thank you
Nino's tears were now those of joy as she ran into his arms. Her petite arms circled his strong waist and she smiled when she felt him hugging her back without reservations as his chin came to rest atop her head. He then began kissing her locks and her forehead with feathery lips.
"Do not hate me, Nino," he said, "I cannot endure it."
"I don't," she replied quickly and, standing on tiptoes managed to kiss him, "I understand… and I will wait for you here."
"And I will come back," he replied, "I promise…"
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2236502/36/The_Beginning_of_the_End
Hats off to the author for managing to put together one of the most epic fan authored sequels to Fire Emblem 7: The Blazing Sword (Sword of Flames)
excerpt from same piece as previous blog. You gotta love Hector sometimes :)
"Mathew," came the Lord's voice, "Don't you dare pass out on me now! I haven't given you permission yet!"
Small Excerpt From 'The Beginning of the End' by FenixPhoenix
"So... okay, a white gem," announced the lavender hair assassin "says that the stranger wins."
"Deal!" chriped Mathew. "She will never win against Guy! He was trained by the famous 'Demon of Swords', remember?"
"I wouldn't be so sure if I were you, she looks pretty strong to me."
"Yeah, she is good alright... but only at dodging slow crew members."
"We'll see... just remember there is no going back on the bet."
"On my honor," answered the thief, placing a hand –rather mockingly- above his heart.
"You better swear on something else... thieves have no honor," Legault advised narrowing his eyes.
"What!" Mathew gave a step back as though he had been physically punched on the face.
"Don't forget I was a thief myself," the assassin reminded casually, but the look he was giving him was stern.
"Oh, right... well, I swear on… the life of Serra?"
"Keep trying..."
"Alright, alright... I swear on my Ostian Lord."
"You are getting a little better…" smiled Legault.
"Deal!" chriped Mathew. "She will never win against Guy! He was trained by the famous 'Demon of Swords', remember?"
"I wouldn't be so sure if I were you, she looks pretty strong to me."
"Yeah, she is good alright... but only at dodging slow crew members."
"We'll see... just remember there is no going back on the bet."
"On my honor," answered the thief, placing a hand –rather mockingly- above his heart.
"You better swear on something else... thieves have no honor," Legault advised narrowing his eyes.
"What!" Mathew gave a step back as though he had been physically punched on the face.
"Don't forget I was a thief myself," the assassin reminded casually, but the look he was giving him was stern.
"Oh, right... well, I swear on… the life of Serra?"
"Keep trying..."
"Alright, alright... I swear on my Ostian Lord."
"You are getting a little better…" smiled Legault.
Small Excerpt from a 50 Drabble fic by Kawaii-Chan789
"Eliwood, look!" Hector exclaimed with a childlike excitement that he had not used since… Well, for as long as he could remember, at least.
Eliwood heaved a heavy sigh. "Hector, what is there to see in our impending doom?"
"Oh, now, would you get out of your spectacular little mood just long enough to see-"
"Ninian!" Eliwood exclaimed, scrambling his way up the stairs to tackle his beloved in an embrace like no other.
…The dragons poured from the portal and roared in an ominous fury, however, not even the greatness of that evil could ruin this moment in Ninian's rebirth.
Eliwood heaved a heavy sigh. "Hector, what is there to see in our impending doom?"
"Oh, now, would you get out of your spectacular little mood just long enough to see-"
"Ninian!" Eliwood exclaimed, scrambling his way up the stairs to tackle his beloved in an embrace like no other.
…The dragons poured from the portal and roared in an ominous fury, however, not even the greatness of that evil could ruin this moment in Ninian's rebirth.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Deadmonton? Get the Fuck Out Then.
it really bothers me when people refer to here as 'deadmonton'. i dont know why. it just... really really bothers me. Not bothers me in like 'i get mad' sort of way, but it bothers me to think that everyone would just get up and leave someday if they were old enough.
i think that it bothers me cuz i usually associate it with jackass. even though now i couldn't care less, i do care about other people though. and i don't want those other people to leave. I know it seems like edmonton doesn't have much to offer... but this is home isn't it...? don't be so quick to cast off the place where you grew up and made your first friends.
lately all i've been hearing about is how people just want to leave this place... and it's kinda upsetting to say at the least. it makes me feel kinda alone. am i the only one who doesn't mind it here? will i be the only one left here...?
and like.. it pisses me off when i read some peopl's status that is like : 'If it weren't for you guys, i'd stay here'
like honestly. if you're going to post such a thing, just stay there for all i care. I don't need a person like you saying how crappy this place is compared to other places. It guess it doesn't matter to you that this is the place you grew up, this is the place you created unforgettable memories, and THIS is the place where you can call home.
Sometimes i feel like everyone's not the people i thought they were. And i'll admit that i think about pretty much leaving everything behind more often than naught. and when i say leave everything behind, i don't mean move to another city.
*sigh* the more i think about it, the more i believe that my 'friends' aren't really my real friends. everyone's a faker. and it's getting kinda old.
Actually, i think the main thing is i feel kinda lonely...
Lonely because everyone hates it here, lonely because everyone's probably going to leave here, lonely because the more i think, the more alone i become.
maybe i care too much. wouldn't it be nice to just be heartless? that way nothing could hurt me. Although then again, that would have it's downsides too i guess.
haha... i think the more i fantasize about just disappearing, the more i long for it. lol... wouldn't it be nice to just disappear? so i won't have to worry about nothing, not have to feel upset, not have to feel lonely because there's only a pitch black oblivion.
I wonder if darkness is what you get after you die. If so, i think that'd be very nice... i've come to realize i hate it when i have time on my hands. because there's so much i think about and so much that i come to realize in such a short amount of time that it kinda kills who i am.
Ever have that feeling where you think everyone hates you? or at least doesn't like you? imagine having that feeling permanently etched into the back of your mind. It's very bothersome actually... and like i mentioned in a previous blog, even though it doesn't bother me as much anymore, it feels like the complete opposite. the more i say that i don't care, the less true it becomes, and yet at the same time, the more i start not giving a rats ass.
argh. maybe it's because of this cold? idk, i hate being sick because everytime i'm sick, i always go into this stupid uncontrollable crying mode. where i'll randomly cry at the stupidest things. quite annoying actually.
anywayz...
ugh... i don't feel like continuing this blog since i'm in such a crappy mood. Sorry shevon, i know i promised you a long blog but i think i'll have to write it tmrw or something...
i think that it bothers me cuz i usually associate it with jackass. even though now i couldn't care less, i do care about other people though. and i don't want those other people to leave. I know it seems like edmonton doesn't have much to offer... but this is home isn't it...? don't be so quick to cast off the place where you grew up and made your first friends.
lately all i've been hearing about is how people just want to leave this place... and it's kinda upsetting to say at the least. it makes me feel kinda alone. am i the only one who doesn't mind it here? will i be the only one left here...?
and like.. it pisses me off when i read some peopl's status that is like : 'If it weren't for you guys, i'd stay here'
like honestly. if you're going to post such a thing, just stay there for all i care. I don't need a person like you saying how crappy this place is compared to other places. It guess it doesn't matter to you that this is the place you grew up, this is the place you created unforgettable memories, and THIS is the place where you can call home.
Sometimes i feel like everyone's not the people i thought they were. And i'll admit that i think about pretty much leaving everything behind more often than naught. and when i say leave everything behind, i don't mean move to another city.
*sigh* the more i think about it, the more i believe that my 'friends' aren't really my real friends. everyone's a faker. and it's getting kinda old.
Actually, i think the main thing is i feel kinda lonely...
Lonely because everyone hates it here, lonely because everyone's probably going to leave here, lonely because the more i think, the more alone i become.
maybe i care too much. wouldn't it be nice to just be heartless? that way nothing could hurt me. Although then again, that would have it's downsides too i guess.
haha... i think the more i fantasize about just disappearing, the more i long for it. lol... wouldn't it be nice to just disappear? so i won't have to worry about nothing, not have to feel upset, not have to feel lonely because there's only a pitch black oblivion.
I wonder if darkness is what you get after you die. If so, i think that'd be very nice... i've come to realize i hate it when i have time on my hands. because there's so much i think about and so much that i come to realize in such a short amount of time that it kinda kills who i am.
Ever have that feeling where you think everyone hates you? or at least doesn't like you? imagine having that feeling permanently etched into the back of your mind. It's very bothersome actually... and like i mentioned in a previous blog, even though it doesn't bother me as much anymore, it feels like the complete opposite. the more i say that i don't care, the less true it becomes, and yet at the same time, the more i start not giving a rats ass.
argh. maybe it's because of this cold? idk, i hate being sick because everytime i'm sick, i always go into this stupid uncontrollable crying mode. where i'll randomly cry at the stupidest things. quite annoying actually.
anywayz...
ugh... i don't feel like continuing this blog since i'm in such a crappy mood. Sorry shevon, i know i promised you a long blog but i think i'll have to write it tmrw or something...
Monday, March 29, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
In Class.
So i really should be doing my world literature paper assignment but i really don't feel like it. Melissa is watching every word i type and is currently laughing. i think i will do a play by play commentary as i am typing this up. NOw she is staring intently at the sreen wondering what the hell i am going to say next. this is actually a very pointless blog. i don't know why i'm taking up space and time just for this. Melissa can't see the end of the screen and is leaning over to read. Can you read it now?
Melissa: Patricia is a mind reader... 0_o
Yes yes, very good to know. Actually i think that she is having more fun reading this than doing her work. HAHA.
Melissa: i WASS actually going to work on my paper but..ahemmm patricia distracted me!
I didn't distract no one. you just happened to become sidetracked and started typing random things on my blog. What a useless blog. seriously.
I crave chips. Melissa's damn 'plastic dreams' website takes so goddamn long to load. yeesh. these shoes had better be made of 100% real plastic or else i will file a complaint. false advertising mil. false advertising. tsk tsk.
ERROR!?!? WHY CAN'T I SEE THE PAGEE~~
screw that website, it's only because we clicked on mongolia for the country. canada was OBVIOUSLY the better choice.
ah crap. gotta go, apparently we had some guest speakers we didnt know about.
Melissa: Patricia is a mind reader... 0_o
Yes yes, very good to know. Actually i think that she is having more fun reading this than doing her work. HAHA.
Melissa: i WASS actually going to work on my paper but..ahemmm patricia distracted me!
I didn't distract no one. you just happened to become sidetracked and started typing random things on my blog. What a useless blog. seriously.
I crave chips. Melissa's damn 'plastic dreams' website takes so goddamn long to load. yeesh. these shoes had better be made of 100% real plastic or else i will file a complaint. false advertising mil. false advertising. tsk tsk.
ERROR!?!? WHY CAN'T I SEE THE PAGEE~~
screw that website, it's only because we clicked on mongolia for the country. canada was OBVIOUSLY the better choice.
ah crap. gotta go, apparently we had some guest speakers we didnt know about.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Jacked After reading Shevon's Blog XD
1. Was your last kiss, standing up, sitting down, or laying down?
standing i believe? wait, kiss on the lips, cheek, or forehead? because kiss on the lips was standing, kiss on cheek was standing, but kiss on forehead was sitting while tilting back.
2. What’s more important, trust or happiness?
Trust. happiness comes with it.
3. Is there anyone that could make your day if they showed up at your house?
Yes
4. How long have you lived at your current residence?
my entire life :)
5. What do you cough on more, your hand or your elbow?
elbow. who the hell coughs on their hand anymore after that god horrible video that was shown to us like spammage?
6. Which do you think is a gesture of true love: fighting for somebody or letting them go?
Fighting for someone. because if you let them go that means that you've either given up on ever being happy or you just don't need them in your life anymore.
7. Have you given somebody more second chances than you can count?
yup. pretty stupid of me. i should probably learn from my mistakes.
8. Who was the last person to surprise you by being there for you when you needed it?
Hmm... I've got to say Jennifer. Like, i knew she'd be there for me, but i didn't know she'd support me the whole nine yards. i mean, she even offered to stay with me whenever she was available :)
9. Do your good memories outweigh the bad?
yep :)
10. On a typical day/night, what do you have a harder time with: falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up?
waking up. I take a long time to fall asleep but i like that part because i think of things i would like to dream about XD i could stay asleep for ages if i wanted haha
11. Last thing you touched not computer-related?
mah jong tiles? or was it my cup?
12. If you married the last person that text messaged you, what would your last name be?
...i don't have text HAHA
13. Anyone from your past ever come to mind often?
Hm. my old best friends occasionally pop in and out. but not really.
14. Do you have tea bags in your room?
No... why would i? o.O
15. How many times has your most played song been played on iTunes?
about 500 some. i think.
16. If the person who recently pissed you off the most apologized, would you forgive them?
depends on how good the apology is. and how sincere.
17. Could you ever be in a long distance relationship with somebody?
if i really loved them yes.
18. What color shirt is your mom wearing today?
black and white.
19. What would you do if your parents caught you having sex?
They won't. HAHA.
20. Have you ever loved anyone more than you love yourself?
yes.
21. Have you ever been in love with one of your friends?
Hmmm... yes, a long long time ago HAHA although did i even know what love was back then? i do know that i've had nightmares about losing that person... and it scared the shit out of me.
22. Honestly, do you see yourself as a slut?
not really no... i see myself as a shrubby azn kid who loves pandas just a tad bit too much. BUT I CAN'T HELP IT, THEY'RE SO FUZZY AND CUTE... X3 *huggles*
23. Would you ever lie to someone to make them feel good about themselves?
Depends how close they are to me and what the subject is.
24. Do you have a picture of you kissing someone?
errmm.. i don't have it, but i know of one in existence.
25. Do you find quotes that you feel had been written for you?
yes, all the time. it's quite depressing actually.
26. Is there someone that you can't stop thinking about that doesn't know it?
Nope HAHA i tend to think about pandas and food usually... XD
27. Can you tell who's fake and who's real anymore?
Usually. sometimes there are those really good fakers though.
28. When was the last time karma bit you in the ass?
Karma bite me? sorry, i ATE karma ;) jk haha
29. What color is the closest doorknob?
Gold.
30. In the past month, have you gained weight, lost weight, or stayed the same?
gained T_____T
32. Do you tell your parents where you are going?
yup. can't leave without.
33. Have you ever felt alone even then you're in a room with a bunch of people?
More often than naught.
34. Have you seen someone (that's not a family member) naked?
Actually yes... *sweatdrop*
standing i believe? wait, kiss on the lips, cheek, or forehead? because kiss on the lips was standing, kiss on cheek was standing, but kiss on forehead was sitting while tilting back.
2. What’s more important, trust or happiness?
Trust. happiness comes with it.
3. Is there anyone that could make your day if they showed up at your house?
Yes
4. How long have you lived at your current residence?
my entire life :)
5. What do you cough on more, your hand or your elbow?
elbow. who the hell coughs on their hand anymore after that god horrible video that was shown to us like spammage?
6. Which do you think is a gesture of true love: fighting for somebody or letting them go?
Fighting for someone. because if you let them go that means that you've either given up on ever being happy or you just don't need them in your life anymore.
7. Have you given somebody more second chances than you can count?
yup. pretty stupid of me. i should probably learn from my mistakes.
8. Who was the last person to surprise you by being there for you when you needed it?
Hmm... I've got to say Jennifer. Like, i knew she'd be there for me, but i didn't know she'd support me the whole nine yards. i mean, she even offered to stay with me whenever she was available :)
9. Do your good memories outweigh the bad?
yep :)
10. On a typical day/night, what do you have a harder time with: falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up?
waking up. I take a long time to fall asleep but i like that part because i think of things i would like to dream about XD i could stay asleep for ages if i wanted haha
11. Last thing you touched not computer-related?
mah jong tiles? or was it my cup?
12. If you married the last person that text messaged you, what would your last name be?
...i don't have text HAHA
13. Anyone from your past ever come to mind often?
Hm. my old best friends occasionally pop in and out. but not really.
14. Do you have tea bags in your room?
No... why would i? o.O
15. How many times has your most played song been played on iTunes?
about 500 some. i think.
16. If the person who recently pissed you off the most apologized, would you forgive them?
depends on how good the apology is. and how sincere.
17. Could you ever be in a long distance relationship with somebody?
if i really loved them yes.
18. What color shirt is your mom wearing today?
black and white.
19. What would you do if your parents caught you having sex?
They won't. HAHA.
20. Have you ever loved anyone more than you love yourself?
yes.
21. Have you ever been in love with one of your friends?
Hmmm... yes, a long long time ago HAHA although did i even know what love was back then? i do know that i've had nightmares about losing that person... and it scared the shit out of me.
22. Honestly, do you see yourself as a slut?
not really no... i see myself as a shrubby azn kid who loves pandas just a tad bit too much. BUT I CAN'T HELP IT, THEY'RE SO FUZZY AND CUTE... X3 *huggles*
23. Would you ever lie to someone to make them feel good about themselves?
Depends how close they are to me and what the subject is.
24. Do you have a picture of you kissing someone?
errmm.. i don't have it, but i know of one in existence.
25. Do you find quotes that you feel had been written for you?
yes, all the time. it's quite depressing actually.
26. Is there someone that you can't stop thinking about that doesn't know it?
Nope HAHA i tend to think about pandas and food usually... XD
27. Can you tell who's fake and who's real anymore?
Usually. sometimes there are those really good fakers though.
28. When was the last time karma bit you in the ass?
Karma bite me? sorry, i ATE karma ;) jk haha
29. What color is the closest doorknob?
Gold.
30. In the past month, have you gained weight, lost weight, or stayed the same?
gained T_____T
32. Do you tell your parents where you are going?
yup. can't leave without.
33. Have you ever felt alone even then you're in a room with a bunch of people?
More often than naught.
34. Have you seen someone (that's not a family member) naked?
Actually yes... *sweatdrop*
Oh Dear.
HAHA
is it bad that i think this grade 9 kid is cute? XD
cute as in "DAMN I WISH HE WERE OLDER THEN I COULD HIT ON HIM" ROFL ROFL ROFL XDD
Shevon, this is something you can read on my blog. I updated it just for you LMAO
is it bad that i think this grade 9 kid is cute? XD
cute as in "DAMN I WISH HE WERE OLDER THEN I COULD HIT ON HIM" ROFL ROFL ROFL XDD
Shevon, this is something you can read on my blog. I updated it just for you LMAO
Monday, March 1, 2010
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