I'd Rather.

So...
i'm wondering...
if i should even go on with this bullshit.
Honestly,
i don't even think i care anymore.
Like... this is the most apathetic i've felt from the 2 years we've been dating.
First of all,
he didn't show up on saturday. and that was my only chance to see him this summer.
Second of all,
he broke his promise. he didn't send me an email this week. But then again, i'm not even sure i want to read any of his emails because they're so fucking insensitive and like... i might as well be someone he hates because that's what it sounds like.
Right about now
i really want to talk to him.
Like
down to earth talk.
Like, 'THE TALK'.
'THE TALK' where i tell him about how apathetic i feel right now and how i feel like ending our relationship. Where i tell him how much i've been hurting and how it feels like he doesn't give a shit anymore. How everytime he says 'sorry' it feels like he's just saying it to apease me.
He isn't putting in any effort into keeping our relationship alive. So why should i?
like...
i've said this before
and i'll say it again.
If this is what it's like to love you,
i'd rather hate you.