Romio&Juliet<3

Today... was another good day i suppose :)
He was 'gentle kelvin' today again. i wonder how long this will last?
not to be pessimistic or anything.
I...feel really weird.
Like, i'm so close to him, yet at the same time he's keeping me at arm's length.
It's like, i don't know much about him, and he's not willing to tell me. Yet i know so much more about him than anyone else, it's like i know his soul rather than his mind.
I can judge what he likes and dislikes, but i don't know specifics. I can judge what would make him happy and sad, but i don't know exactly what. Like... i don't know his material likes and dislikes, but i know his personality likes and dislikes.
It's so weird.
I know him, yet i don't.
He's the complete opposite LOL.
he knows everything i hate and love material wise. He knows all the facts about me inside and out. He knows my personality...a bit i guess.
Like, he knows how i react and stuff and like my moods but he can never tell what i would enjoy or what i would dislike (as in activities and non-material things).
But... i guess that's all the more reason to stay together.
Because we are still strangers to each other.
I want to know about him. Because that way i can make him happy.
To me, seeing him happy means everything :)
LOL
'you know you're in love when...' XD
man.
i REALLY do love him don't i?
Like... to the point where i'm starting to think i'm in the 'blinded' stage.
Maybe it's a phase?
i don't care.
i love him :) that's all i know <3
But... today he was very nice again.
I know he doesn't like to hold my hand because it makes his cramp up (SORRY MY HANDS ARE SO FREAKING SMALL >=[) but now, he actually makes the effort to at least hold my hand firmly when i slip my hand in his.
Usually he doesn't move, like i'm the only one holding his hand. and like, quite frankly i'm used to it.
But he actually HOLDS my hand now... i feel kinda bad because i usually hold his right hand and i don't want to cramp his writing hand up...
LOLOLOL i have to say something...
and what i am about to say
will not be repeated to ANYONE.
...
...
he gained weight XD
or at least i THINK he did LMAO.
because
His body is tone.
Like, i know because i can feel it when he hugs me. there's not a inch of fat ANYWHERE (cept for his tummy, but that's understandable)
and
when he was sitting down in band class (yesterday), i hit his thigh because he was teasing me and then it felt softer than usual LOL.
like, you know how when you hit your thigh and like it jiggles a little? like jiggles once? (NOT LIKE THOSE FAT PPL WHO NEVER STOP JIGGLING)
it was very brief, but i saw it jiggle XD
I'm actually kinda happy he gained weight. He's too skinny. he never eats enough.
I think, before, he was UNDERWEIGHT. Maybe now he's the ideal weight...
OMG
DID I TELL YOU
I LOST WEIGHT AGAIN :) HAHAHA
causee
usually when i check in afternoon, my weight is between 149-152
but, today i checked, and i was 148 :)
I USUALLY ONLY WEIGHT 148 WHEN I WAKE UP. AND THAT'S WHEN MY TUMMY IS EMPTY. :)
but... i ate a bit more than usual today... because i had LD practice and i was hungry after i got home even though i ate supper already...
BUT
MY GOAL
IS TO GO DOWN TO AT LEAST 145 BY THE END OF THIS YEAR :D
and then, by the time we finish grade 11, i want to be 140.
i think, the reason i gained so much weight last year was because i went to the mall at lunch to get second cup, then right after i would have foods and like we would bake so much stuff. So like tons of cals right there and in class we sit for so long.
This year, i want to lose weight.
I'M SO FUCKING JEALOUS >=[
Kelvin can look like a freaking denim model when he's shirtless.
GRRR.
Not fair >.< in this relationship, the guy looks hotter than the girl. WAAHHH~ T__T
Then again, maybe that's just my opinion? i think he's cute because i love him XD
okay. i'll admit. i like a shirtless kelvin LMAO
pft. i have proof that he likes it when i wear my swimsuit. (shevon, can you guess or are you too innocent? XD)
hahaha.
You know, i find it so amazing. Sometimes i think to myself:
why does he even like me? i'm not that like-able. I'm selfish, egotistic, arrogant and bitchy. He must be crazy to love me.
I know kelvin used to think something like that. He told me that when we first started dating, he couldn't believe that i chose him out of everyone else since he was the 'nerd/nobody' and didn't have any outstanding characteristics at all.
Actually... i don't know why i love him.
I guess... i just do. Like, i've said this before and i'll say it again.
When he smiles at me, i know that i love him, and he loves me.
I think...
when you love someone, you don't need a reason.
Sure, you love lots of things about that person, but they aren't the reason you love them.
Like... you love a person for who they are.
I love kelvin because he is kelvin.
I think... that if kelvin wasn't kelvin, i wouldn't love him.
Almost like... i'll still love him if he changes, because i'll be there for the change and i can adapt. But if kelvin had a double who was completely different, i wouldn't love him.
Because he's not Kelvin.
You can't choose who to love.
Love chooses whom it wants.
It is irrational with no logical reasoning at all.
But i guess that's what makes love so exciting :)
You know i want to do before i graduate from high school?
i want to be able to fall asleep in his arms :) IN AN ACTUAL BED, NOT ON THE STUPID BUS.
Like, no perverted things, but just... fall asleep.
I think... i would feel very safe...and warm XD
HAHA OMG
TODAY
IN WORLD LIT CLASS
we were talking about romio and juliet
and like the teach was going on and on and on
and he was like
'well back then they married at like 13 you know! and like juliet's parents didn't want her to marry romio because they thought he'd treat her like shit. i mean, imagine if you married the person you liked when you were 13'
and i was like
'UHH, HE'S SITTING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME LMAO. WE HAPPEN TO BE DATING HAHAHA'
and i'll be honest.
for a second there
i actually wondered what it'd be like to be married to kelvin.
o.O
you know what?
i can't see kelvin getting married.
HAHA
well, i can see him getting married, but like, can't see him as a dad.
But... I WANT TO BE A MOMMY :D
haha.
i actually have a motherly instinct.
i worry about ppl too much and i always nag them like 'DID YOU PACK A LUNCH?' or 'DID YOU BRING YOUR JACKET?' and blah blah blah.
i like being a mother hen XD i like taking care of people even though they find it annoying.
Blah...
i better go to bed.
Getting late and i'm going downtown library tmrw to do hmwk then shop for daddy's gift.
Nighty Night :)