I really miss him...
i would've thought that by now i would've gotten used to not seeing him.
pft. i guess not.
I don't even know if he's left for his vacation yet. last email i got from him on saturday said that he was leaving 'next week'. Is this considered next week? is he in toronto already? damn bastard didn't even say goodbye. fuck him.
... okay, i take that back. it was harsh and rude. and i certainly did not mean it. Argh, i'm just so... i just really miss him. :(
Even though i'm at home, it doesn't feel like i'm truly there. I kinda wish he was here to hug me... i miss him a lot actually. I've found that he's in almost every single one of my dreams lately. Its quite funny really, since my dreams are always so messed up. i do believe that there was this one dream i had where we all lived in mushroom houses and since his house got squashed, he had to live in my house. Cept my the staircase in my house was all wobbly and everytime you took a step on it, the entire house would shake because of the weight (mushrooms aren't stable). lol. After i told him about my dream, he told me to lay off the shrooms for a while >.>
Its funny really. I have pictures of him stuck on my computer so i see him everyday when i wake up. i should scan this one picture... its my absolute favourite. It was taken while we were on the bus in vancouver. I think it's my favourite because its one of those times where his facade is completely dissolved and you can truly see how happy he is. He never did like being in pictures so in most pics he usually looks like he's grimacing or like he's forcing a smile... i guess that's what makes this picture so special? because it reminds me of how he usually looks at me. But then again, maybe he looks like that in the picture because he's hugging me from behind...
-sigh- i would kill for a hug right now. i think during the year i'd gotten so used to hugging him every day in the morning and hugging him every day after school. My brain is going crazy right now because i haven't smelled his scent for like... a freaking month. Its weird how in my dreams i can remember how he smells so vividly. LOL. i must be going insane.
But i worry about him... if he's in toronto, is he taking care of himself? are his ankles acting up again? if they are did he bring his ankle brace? i distinctly remember telling him to bring it. He knows i get really mad when he doesn't. He's always in so much pain when his ankle shifts. He can't even walk without a limp if his ankle acts up. i sound like a freaking house wife. omg. but i can't help it. i'm a freaking worry wart. i guess maybe because i love him too much for my own good?
i know he's a 'big boy' and he can 'take care of himself' but goddammit, how many times have i saved him from being freaking road kill? he freaking DIES when he gets sick. what if he got a fever? augh!! how many times has he gone outside in freaking cold weather without a jacket when i'm not there to tell him to wear one? he probably wouldn't even notice if he got stabbed...
hmm
i think my worrying is valid.
no?
-sigh-... i miss you poi poi... :'(
Anyways, i'm taking my learners tomorrow. I hope i pass, because if i don't, my mom won't pay for the next time i take the test XD. plus, if i DO pass, i still gotta pay like $60 for the ID and i don't got that kinda money.
OMGGG MONEY.
ITS THE END OF THE MONTH. I GET PAID NEXT WEEK!
SO. FAUCKING. HAPPY.
MONEY MONEY MONEY!!
i worked a lot this month too so i should get a relatively big check! not to mention i saw next month's work schedual and i work every freaking day that the place is open. So my check should be a big one. and i'll have enough money to buy my bus pass.
oohh i got my package from school a few days ago with the newsletter and the pink sheet listing all the fees and shit. when do we get our time table though? how do we know what class to go to on the first day? is there a list somewhere? do we get it when we go take our ID pics?? i'm confusedd. Somebody please tell me >.< my brother makes no sense at all.
-SIGH- nothing else to talk about i guess... what a short blog.
blargh.
whatever...
...
...
...
...i wanna hug...
...
...
...
...come home soon poi poi...
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